Betrayal

Revealed secrets

"So he is has run off?" I heard a voice behind my back, I don't have to see the face of the person to know who was talking to me. Even though I know who it was, I turned around. It was indeed the person who I suspected to be there.

"Well do you see him here?" I said my breath still sounding a bit ragged. I had tried to keep up with the running Italian but that had been impossible from start. It was worth trying it though. I don't know why he keeps running away like this eveytime.

It used to be the time that we would spend together, though the times had changed. I can admit that they have changed, there is no denying that they have. Maybe I have started getting rough on him. Everything is just, different and I don't really know what to do with everything that is given to me.

Even though I am a nation my brain isn't much different from that from a normal human. It can process as much in the same time span than they can, which my bosses seem to forget sometimes. My memory is bigger than the average human, that is true but that doesn't mean that it will keep everything in there.

Nothing has been easier for no one, it slowly starts taking toll on every nations. Some are better at handling it than others. Some relationships have allready ended because of the amount of stress that had been put on it.

From the looks of it, that seemed to be the thing that was happening with my relationship with Italy. I am not completly free of sin though, from my side of the relationship was the understanding of only one partner not clear.

Ivan walked up to me and lifted my chin up. "Good, I don't like it when he is around you." He said, his Russian accent clearly audible in his voice. I don't really see the problem that he mentioned. If Italy would have been there, he would have run off by the sight of the taller nation.

"You know as well as I do that even if he had been here that he would have run of anyway." Nearby was a bench were we sat down on, standing there in the middle of the park looked very silly.

"Da." Russia ansewered and looked up at the sky. Which he said reminded him of my eyes, which to an extent they do. They are soft blue just like the sky when it is sunny outside.

I was sitting on a bench, in public with the person I was cheating on Italy with. That realisation made me not feel that comfortable, it made me a bit sick. It felt like as if I was breaking a promise with someone.

Everything started to get very complex a few months ago. After a night of drinking the stress away, I ended up with Russia at his home, it was then that everything had started between us. I didn't mind back when it started since I wanted to feel loved which seemed to have been more than a decade ago when it last happend.

It is that now, a few months later I was starting to get regrets. I wasn't so sure if the decision I had made those months ago was the right one. I still love Italy, I don't have any doubts about that but I can't deny the feelings that I have for Ivan either.

Would this have been less complicated if I had been better with emotions? Would it have changed if I had been better at expressing what was really going on in that overly active mind of mine?

I don't think it wouldn't have, yet I can't stop wondering what it could have been if I would have been able to express my emotions like some others could. Unfortunatly I was 'gifted' with the Germanic ability to not be able to express many emotions besides anger.

" I like spending time alone with you Ludwig, you know that don't you." Ivan said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Well I can't really deny that in any way Ivan." It was true, there was something, I don't know what, but it made me like spending time with the Russian.

From the looks of it he seemed to be making his mind up about something, it looked rather serious. Well any time that Russia spends more than a mere minute to thing one must be rather important, even if it was only important for himself.

Russia, like Italy is more of a person, who speaks whenever something pops up in his mind. It doesn't matter what it is, if it comes into his mind he will say it out loud. That is something that has prevented him from getting any friends.

What he says can sound very scary, especially to people who don't know that he is like that. That is why he is regarded as one of the scariest nations, it is that his brain doesn't seperate the things you can say and which you can't. It leads to very morbid and scary thoughts coming out of his mouth.

Only few people have been able to get used to it. Most of them have been raised or have lived with very weird people. I am one of those people, I was raised by my older brother Prussia. He is one of the weirdest among the European nations. I am used to have an odd brother saying the weirdest things, so I don't mind hearing the things Russia say. To be honest..I am used to worse.

It was after a very loong silence of at least ten minutes that he would speak up again. I found it rather odd that it would take him so long so speak up again. "Well I know that you may not like this so much, but we really should tell them about this."

I let out a small sigh. He was right. I was avoiding the truth and what would come from that as much as I could. I love Ivan yes but I don't want Feliciano to hate me either. It was something that has been in my mind for a pretty long time now.

"I know I just don't know if they will take the betrayal well." I saw a smile appear on Ivan's face. "Well I know that one did. It isn't that hard to do, I have done it." That was something I sure didn't expect from him.

That meant that I had to do it as well. Tonight would be the time to do it, but I know that the day that would still take several hours would be one of the longest days in my long life.