Proofread it. Read it through, and re-write it if you don't like it. Some books have been re-written many times. Get a teacher or relative to read it. Adults are good at spotting mistakes like spelling and punctuation, especially in the writing of children.
Make sure the word "said" isn't used to many times. It's appropriate to use "said" 6 times on one page. Also, you should only use "and" 9 times on one page.
