FUCKING ARRANGED>(

chapter four

I spent the rest of the day goofing around, when i got home my mom was waiting for me.Uh oh i thought. "Rachel" she said. "yes" i replied calmly ready to deny whatever i had done. "Get ready we are meeting some friends of your mothers" she told me. "Kay, be down in 5" i replied and walked up to my room. i wore......weheartit.com/entry/111170781/sea... . "Ok lets get this show on the road" i shouted getting into the car, my mom smiled at my immaturity and i stuck my tongue out at her. I plugged in my earphones and listened to Heroes by all time low. We stopped at some big fancy restaurant. And i saw that my moms friends were non other than the malik family, Zayn sat in front of me. i internally groaned, this was gonna be a long evening. 

"So, Rachel, tell us about your day" asked Mrs Malik snapping me out of my thoughts. "Well i got called into the principles office, where he accused me of turning his office into a war zone. I possibly broke someones arm and kicked a guys ass, same old same old." i responded smirking, i could feel Mr and Mrs Malik warming towards me, i guess i just had that influence on people. "So, Rachel , Zayn we have an announcement to make" Said Mrs Malik nervously. "Shoot" i replied drinking some water."You're getting married". I accidentally spat the water out " Excuse me?" i asked wiping my mouth. "You and Zayn are getting married" she repeated. i looked at Zayn, he was frowning at the table, but didn't seem that surprised,i guess he already knew "You do realize that we're 17 right" i asked confused. "Yes, Rachel i'm so sorry, we made an agreement when u guys were born, it's all arranged legally". That was it "What the hell got into you mom, who makes an agreement like that" i shouted getting up. "Rachel, i'm sorry but like i said its arranged" she replied pleading "Then un arrange it" i shouted "I can't and won't get married, i'm seventeen for God's sake" and with that i walked the hell out of that place.

I started to run away, away from all of it. How could they do this to me, and to Zayn malik of all people. i thought, he's my bully for God's sake.

He is the reason i almost committed suicide once. When we were little he used to call me names all the time, he used to insult me a lot too. I started to self harm at the age of 12 though at that time i didn't know what it was that i was doing. I started to starve myself too, and made myself puke when i ate. It got so bad that at the age of 13 i almost committed suicide. it would have bin successful too, if only Naill hadn't pushed me out of the way. No one knew this though, even Naill thought that i was goofing around that night, he thought i was doing a dare. I realized what i was doing was wrong and so i stopped. I started excersising and tried to look at things from a positive perspective. I'm three years clean now.

i remember how i used to be so shy, timid and insecure, but now i'm the exact opposite. i just can't marry the guy who as good as killed me.

I was in front of liams house, why did i come there, but i went in trusting that instinct that brought me here, i went up to his bedroom where i found him and Naill playing video games. "Hi ray" they said "hi" i whispered. "wow you look nice, is Brooke taking us to a club" asked Louis. "No actually i'm coming from somewhere". "hey r u ok" asked Naill leaving the game "you look pale" he said. "i'm getting married" i told them their reaction was pretty much what i expected their mouths hung open and their eyes were wide. "Why" asked louis. "My mom made an arrangement when she was young and there's no backing out of it" i replied emotionlessly "To who" asked Naill. "Zayn" and with that i slid down and sat on the ground with my head on my legs. They rushed over to me in a second putting their arms around me. "i can't marry him' i choked out "not after what he did" oh no i just said that out loud. "What?" asked louis at once. Should i tell them i thought and decided yes they were my best friends after all. "i'm so sorry" said Naill "it's all my fault" he said sobbing , oh God no, please don't cry, i thought, cuz Naill sobbing was the most heartbreaking thing ever. "How is it you fault" i said. "i-i should h-h-have asked, w-w-what you were doing that night." "no, naill you're the reason i'm still alive." i replied. "i'm a horrible friend" he said shaking his head. "Niall, remember what you said that night, you cried and hugged me. you said that i was like your sister and that you love me.U told me that you wouldn't have bin able to live if i'd have died and because of that i got better. just think would it have been hard for me to try again, but you made be believe that i wasn't worthless even though at that time i honestly believed that no one love me" i said hugging him. He hugged me back and kissed my forehead. "Naill, i mumbled "Yeah " he replied, "Pleased don't cry, cuz your crying is honestly the most heartbreaking thing i've ever seen." he laughed and i sighed in relief. "Ray, u won't do it again will u" he asked seriously. "no I've got no reason to" i replied. "kay" he said "Well its getting late me mums gonna be worried" he said " you should go" i told him. and he left. "Louis" i asked noticing that he hadn't talked at all "r u ok" "no rachel i'm not ok, how could you even think of taking your life away" he whispered tears falling from his eyes, oh dear i made him cry and he never cries i thought "do honestly have any idea of how much u mean to me, we were friends since we were babies. how could you ever think that i wouldn't want you around" he asked more tears falling down his cheeks "Zayn was really convincing" i replied. "why didn't you ask, i would have told you that i love you, lill sis, i would have told you that you mean the world to me, i love you so much" and with that he hugged me tightly. i hugged him back."Lou, please stop, crying" i begged, this was really breaking my heart. "i just can't imagine my life without you" he sobbed "well u don't need to lou, kay i'm not gonna kill myself, not ever." i told him rubbing his back. Finally he stopped crying and let go. "well, i should go, mums probably having a nervous breakdown, bye big bro" i said and he smiled.