Stuff I would do in an elevator...
These are not only mine. Some I have read elsewhere, some I have invented.
If Only I Had The Guts.
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1. Draw a chalk square in the middle of the elevator and tell people that this is MY space.
2. When there's just me and one other guy, drop a pen and don't even acknowledge it. When they go to pick it up, yell at them "NO!! THAT'S MY PEN DON'T TOUCH IT!" Or something along those lines...
3. Stand in the corner, hood up, not doing anything, completely still.
4. Make explosion noises whenever someone pushes the buttons.
5. Occasionally meow like a cat and pretend it wasn't you.
6. Wear a shirt that says "LIFE" and hand people lemons.
7. Bring a deck chair into the elevator and sit down.
8. Read a newspaper over someone's shoulder out loud.
9. When you're alone with some other guy, poke them, then look away and act like you didn't do anything.
10. When there's a bunch of people, stand by the doors and say "I guess you're all wondering why I've brought you here today..."
11. Enforce a group hug.
12. Rant loudly about the economy, pollution rates, finances, anything boring.
13. Play music on your phone without earphones. Inappropriate music works better.
14. Shush people who try to talk.
15. Hand out fruit.
16. Pick a random person you've never met before and burst into a friendly conversation. Start along the lines of "Oh, Hey!!! Long time no see! Where've you been! How are you!" See if they act the same way.
17. Dance along to the elevator music.
18. Sing if you know the song.
19. Preach.
20. Bite anyone who tries to push the buttons.
21. Fake faint.
22. Slurp your drink loudly.
23. Have a choking fit.
24. Scream at the top of your lungs and then walk away as if nothing has happened.
25. Get in an overly crowded elevator and pretend to have a panic attack because of your claustrophobia.
26. Jump up and down.
27. Enforce exercise right there.
28. Poke people's noses.
29. Hug everyone and kiss their cheeks. As you do.
30. Laugh hysterically.
31. Wave your arms about as if you can't control them.
32. Swat a pretend fly dramatically.
33. Sing opera terribly.
34. Pretend you're on a rollercoaster.
35. Eat your bacon and eggs breakfast. Offer it to people.
36. Bring your excitable dog on the elevator. Works better if the elevator is full of business people.
37. Dress like a hippie - bright clothing, dreadlocks, banjo in hand, etc...
38. Try to climb the walls and complain that your spider webs aren't working.
39. Walk up to a random person, right in their face, and say "I know who you are."
40. Whisper "I love you" to the only other person in the elevator.
41. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and tell them to call you Admiral.
42. Say "DING" at each floor.
43. Stand silent and motionless, facing the corner without getting off. (Similar to #3)
44. Stare at another passenger for a long time, then say "You're one of THEM!"
45. Partially open your bag/briefcase and ask "You okay in there?" Stare inside for a few seconds, then nod and close your bag/briefcase.
46. When you arrive at your floor, grunt and strain to open the door, then stand there embarrasses as they open themselves.
47. Push all the buttons in a random order.
48. Stare grinning at another passenger and eventually say "I have new socks on."
49. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your phone?"
50. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator
51. Ask if you can press the buttons for people but push the wrong ones.
52. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
53. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. Eventually let them close and pretend to cry because your friend didn't come.
54. Pretend you're a flight attendant and go through the emergency procedures with the passengers.
55. Sit with a desk, a laptop and a cup of coffee. When someone walks in, ask if they have an appointment.
