For His Happiness

Chapter 13: The North Star

The night was neither cold nor warm. It was temperate with the gentle western wind rustling the evergreen trees, the grass smelled like peppermint, and the streetlights from each block lit like orbs in the blue darkness. The party from the school couldn't be heard but random muffles hanging in the distant air. Alfred and Kiku were lying on the turf nearby the Dogwood tree. Alfred already took his favorite bomber jacket from the car and spread it on the grass where they lied on. They were chattering about the incident that happened earlier in Kiku's place while they stared at the summer night sky, alive with constellations like glittering masses on a blue curtain. It was dark yet quieter and more peaceful than the hysteric echoes and orange lights of the prom. It was getting late, but the night was still young.

"And then, he literally pulled my curl!" Alfred said as he remembered what happened with him and Ivan.

"Did he really?" Kiku asked while trying not to laugh.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "And everything went into a nightmare like bam! We didn't say anything but stared at each other because God knows if we breathe, it's a one-way ticket to death. And, yeah! That's what happened before you came."

"Oh boy..." Kiku muttered before proceeding to a fit of laughter. "Seriously, Alfred-san, your life is full of excitement." The blond mumbled something and playfully punched his arm.

For a moment, the air became thick in silence, not a single word was spoken. Only the sound of nature was heard, the silent chirping and the distant music. Everything became still... then everything became solemn.

"Kiku," Alfred started. "What is it that you really want to talk about?"

The raven-haired man looked at him then turned back to the starry night. He sighed. "It involves us going to college."

Alfred frowned by the thought of it. Well, technically, his real issue was not them going to college but the idea of him going to a different school and to be separated from his brother, his friends, and Kiku would be the path to his depression. They would become more distant from each other as they would go to different colleges. "What about it?" he asked.

Kiku sighed and started fiddling his fingers. "It's just that- I really feel bad for you that you have to keep going without us," he glanced at him but Alfred didn't meet his eyes. And yet, he knew too well what that boy had been thinking, he had seen this face before gray, down, and blank, Kiku saw himself when Alfred made that look. He grabbed his hand intertwined with it.

Kiku continued, "I know how it feels to be alone, Alfred-san. I've been there before, and..." I was scared. "It's a pretty strange world out there..." I don't want you to be scared, even though I know you're brave. "And I hope and pray that you'll be fine, you'll find your way, you'll succeed, and..." I know you will, but... "I'm really sorry if I'm not there when you need me."

Although he could only hear the tone in Kiku's voice, he could feel the running emotion through his palm where their hands held. Humility has been a great part of Kiku's persona, as well as being apologetic, Alfred loves the former, but he's uncomfortable with the latter. He finally faced him and said, "Hey, don't say that as if it's your fault," You're so cute when you're like this, but... "It's never your fault. Blaming yourself is ridiculous, Kiku. And don't worry about me because I can handle this," There's no point in lying. "I mean... I admit I will cry and freak out on the first day," he made a small laugh and the Japanese smiled.