For His Happiness

Chapter 16: "...Always?" "...Forever."

"Keeks! Keeks! Keeks!"

Meanwhile, in the car, Kiku heard Alfred's voice echoed behind him. Mrs. Honda noticed him as well through the rear view mirror. She stopped the car and looked back at her son with compassion. "Go to him, we can wait for ten more minutes," she said. Kiku would never think his mother would say that. He always remembered the time when they left, Mrs. Honda forcefully dragged him away from his room without taking any moment to look at the empty space he'll miss. But then, this phenomenon happened. What caused her to consider such situation remained unknown for now.

He quickly thanked her and got off from the car. Kiku already had his arms open just in time Alfred reached him and wrapped him tightly until there was no space between them. The blond gritted his teeth while crying quietly on his shoulder, clenching the smaller man's jacket until his knuckles turned white. The raven-haired did his best to soothe him while rubbing his palm on the back of his bomber jacket and shushing him gently in order to stop his sobbing. What came next were two voices hanging in the air:

"Kiku! I'm sorry! I can't help myself. I'm really sorry!" Alfred chocked between tears. Nevertheless, his partner was the only person who could hear him.

"Ssshhh... Darling, it's ok. I know... I understand..." Kiku whispered against his ear while kissing him gently on the shell and the side of his head.

The taller man began to gasp. "I know you told me that everything is going to be fine between us. And I keep telling myself the same thing! I'm so stupid! I'm sorry if I'm acting like this."

"Hey... stop blaming yourself. I know you'll eventually do something like this," he kissed his cheek. "You are not stupid because if you are you wouldn't go as far as this. It's okay to cry... Just let it out, ok? Let it out."

They pulled away but their foreheads were still touching. Alfred's eyes were swollen and red while small droplets of tears streamed down from the corners of his eyes, his cheeks were flushed, as well as his ears, he was wheezing and shuddering against the breeze, and his hands were clasping onto Kiku's sleeves. Kiku furrowed his eyebrows as he watched him shutting his eyes and biting his lip to stop his crying. He'd seen Alfred cry on some occasions, but this was the worst, so far.

"I'm scared," the blond finally said after a minute of gasps and strains.

"I know..." the smaller man replied silently. I am scared, too.

He sighed. "I told myself to man up. I told myself not to be an ass. I told myself a fucking million times! But then, here I am," he said in loathing. "You're probably thinking that I'm a coward,"

Stop! Kiku moved his hands to his cheeks and claimed, "No! You are not a coward and you never were," I have been living my life in seclusion. I was scared to open my door. I was scared to look out through my window. I was scared when I thought people would intervene. I guess... we're all cowards anyway. "It's alright to be scared. We're only humans, we are all cowards and heroes at the same time. In fact, heroes have to be scared," he wiped his tear with his thumb. "So that they will learn to become brave."

He lifted his head so his eyes were directly met with a pair of blue orbs. Kiku could feel the tears welling up inside of him. For him, it felt like watching a world of stormy seas, dangerous and frightening. Nevertheless, he took the courage and said, "Remember when we first met? Of all the people, you were the first one to come near me," Alfred would never forget about that day. He continued, "I was a stranger... you know nothing about me... you didn't know my intentions... you didn't even know what brought me here... and yet, you are brave enough to approach me, regardless the possible risks you'll encounter, so how much more will you take when you'll come across a bigger stranger than me?" Kiku smiled against his tears. "You've waited for me patiently to say 'yes' in three years, so how much longer will you endure within another three years? Since I came into this country without knowing anybody, are you also willing to take the risk I've been through?" he felt a pang of heaviness in his heart when he said the last part. "Darling, please hear me out," Kiku whimpered. "These things might be hard for you, for us. But think of these as missions for a hero. We must fight back, beat the odds, and never give up until they are accomplished." He brushed back his blond hair and continued, "We're almost at the final level, and we must stay strong to defeat the final boss. And after that... let's raise our glass!"