𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 | 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉

✿ｔｗｏ✿

" I feel my lips dry
The lips that used to call you so much
I realized then, like a habitual saying
That I desperately looked for you as I called for you
I want to embrace you like I did then
And tell you that I want to smile "

|♡|

"Louis, you uh, have a guest." Jay had her head peeping in Louis' door.

Obviously, Louis was confused, the only person he talked to was Liam, so therefore, to hear he 'had a guest' was a bit, unsettling.

"Uh, let 'em in, I guess?" he was unsure of what to say, and what to do for the matter. He looked in the mirror he had by his bed, fixing the tip of his fringe, and tried to think of who the hell could possibly be here to see him. Louis then proceeded to get on his laptop and acted like he wasn't just contemplating death.

He heard three little knocks in a specific pattern, and in that very moment, he wanted to die. There was only one person, one person in the whole world, who knocked on Louis' door like that. Naturally, Louis wasn't up for anything right now, so when he recogonized that knock, and knew who this so called 'guest' was, he groaned and his mood went salty.

"The fuck do you want, Styles?" he opened the door and flopped back on his bed.

"I thought we agreed on friends?" and at the moment Louis laughed louder then he ever had before in his life.

"You were actually serious about that shit?" he tried to calm down.

"Obviously." Harry was being serious, Louis had been there all his life, for him to not be in it, would be extremely weird.

"You actually think we're actually capable of being just friends?" Louis was being serious by this point.

"I mean....yeah, we were friends at one point, what makes it so difficult now?" in all honesty, Harry knew it'd be hard, but he was willing to make an effort.

"Oh, I don't know Harry, the fact that we haven't been just friends since we were like thirteen?" Louis retorted, sass laced in his voice.

"So it might be a little hard-" Louis cut him off.

"Harry, I don't know how to be 'just friends' with you. Even before we dated, we were always close, we fucking cuddled each other." Harry was defeated.

Louis was right, they were never just 'platonic pals'. The boys were always touching each other somehow, hell, they expierimented with each other when they were figuring out their sexualities. Okay, so maybe Louis wasn't up for this whole, 'just friends' thing, but can you blame him? Harry was his, for basically his whole life, then he left him for Niall. Yeah, it hurt, yeah, Louis still hasn't gotten over it, but hey, Louis was pretty convinced Harry was tired of him. But, given the circumstances, who wouldn't assume that was one of the reasons Harry did it?

"I don't know how to be just friends either, but we can learn together." the reply, took Harry ages to think of, and it wasn't even a good one.

"Why?" was all Louis could say in return.

"Why what?"

"Just why? Why do you want this?" Louis honeslty had no other words.

In general, Louis had no clue what to do because he wasn't expecting this. This sudden, pop up of Harry wanting to be friends. Although, there could be a plus to this. Louis could accept Harry as his friends and then do everything he did before, and hope Harry falls in love with him, again, and this doesn't happen again and they get married and we all live happily ever after.

The possiblities of that happening, we're extemely low, but hey, Louis can dream.

"Louis, its like I said, I don't know how to live without you in my life." Harry's voiced crackled, Louis didn't believe him though.

"You were just fine without me for a month and a half."

"That's my limit, I forcefully made myself keep you out of my mind, cause I knew if I thought of you, I'd need you back in my life somehow." it was true. Before today, Harry hadn't gave Louis a single thought because he knew thinking a Louis would make him realize the fact he's never lived without Louis in his life, regardless of their status.

Truth be told, Louis coudn't do this because Louis himself wasn't over Harry, he wasn't going to get over Harry, at the ripe age of seventeen, when Harry told him he was in love with him on Louis' seventeenth birthday, Louis knew then and there, Harry was it for him. And there was no one who could make Louis move on because Louis knew Harry was it for him. Just the thought of being with anyone else made Louis want to kill himself.

"Look, I'll try. I'll make an effort if it'll make you happy, I'll do it. Under a few circumstances." Harry knew this was coming.

"And those are...."

"No telling me about your relationship with the bottle blond, when you want to hang out, you and me, no him, and please, for the love of all that is good and pure, don't try to set me up with someone and then make me go on double dates with you and Niall. Please." Harry chuckled at that.

"I promise, none of that will happen," he added, "and really, Lou? Bottle blond?"

Louis shrugged, "I didn't want to somehow offened you by calling him Bleach Headed Bimbo."

Harry tried to hold back a laugh, he should scold Louis for calling his boyfriend a bimbo, but when Louis saw his facial expression, and started laughing, he couldn't help but laugh along.

The two spent the next two hours talking as if nothing ever happened, which, stung a bit because Louis couldn't forget what happened and when Harry did anything he used to do, Louis internally sobbed. Harry had to go because Niall wanted to go out to dinner, Louis made a remark about how he probably hired spies to watch Harry's every move and got upset when he found out Harry was with Louis.

                    ♡

Louis, that night, worked himself into a panick attack about all the little things that could happen now that he and Harry were friends. The possiblities were endless and that's what scared Louis, he hated not knowing what was going to happen. He was just thinking of the possiblities, and like always, thinking lead to over-thinking, and per usual, over thinking lead to a panic attack.

"Nothing bad is going to happen." Liam said, walking into Louis' room with a class of water and a box of cookies.

"And how do you know that, Liam? Can you see into the future.?" Louis took the glass of water and chugged it down.

"You're over thinking it, Lou."

"Yeah, no shit sherlock, I know I'm over thinking, hence the panic attack you helped me through five minutes ago." he couldn't help the sass, he got like that during times like this.

"Louis. It's going to be fi-"

"You don't that for sure, Liam. You never know whether somethings going to be okay or not. Because it'll all be okay for one minute, and then you fucking blink and the whole god dammed world comes tumbling down on your shoulders and it leaves you to put the pieces back together on your own." Louis knew how if felt because Louis had been there before.

Liam had a good life, parents who sent him money from where ever the fuck they were, and an on and off relationship that never fucked with his feelings because Pothead Malik always came back to him. Liam was never going to know what it was like to be in Louis' position. And, surprisingly enough, Louis was okay with that, he was fine knowing none of his friends would know how he'd felt, because then they'd feel pity for him. Louis hated when people felt bad or worried about him.

So once Liam left his room, and he was laying there, trying to sleep, he made a promise to himself. He wasn't going to let any feelings show. No matter what.

***************
hihi
could've been better, longer, but i still liked it
all the love, dj c dizzle