𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 | 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉

✿ｓｅｖｅｎ✿

"I want to tell you that I want to see you
Now that you’re gone
The habit
Of calling you
I live, unable to erase it
Because of you"

|♡|

They say that miracles exist, and that one of those miracles is "love". However, Louis no longer believes in love. Love is stupid, pointless. You fall in love, and you do everything for the relationship. Everything. But then things happen. And it all falls apart in the end.

Louis wasn't always like this, he thought there was nothing better than love. His views changed when Harry left him. Which he'd promise he'd never do. Sure, that one little kiss gave Louis hope, but that one little kiss was three months ago. Harry saying he'd do whatever it takes to get him back, was three months ago. The last time Louis smiled, was three months ago. The last time Louis felt alive, was three months ago.

Over the past three months, Louis changed for the worse. He didn't confide in anyone. He lost all his trust for anyone. He didn't even trust his own mother. Louis didn't let himself feel anymore, because he thought, if he let himself feel, he'd just have a repeat of what happened with Harry.

Over the past three months, Harry didn't let himself be around Louis, see Louis, didn't let himself do so much as glance at Louis. He made Niall his main priority, and forced himself to not think about Louis.

Why?

Harry didn't want to repeat the cycle. Getting back together meant being happy, meaning falling in even more in love with Louis than Harry already was, meaning being scared shitless, meaning he'd end up leaving Louis again. And he didn't want to do that. Hurting Louis again would be the cause of Harry's suicide.

Love is stupid.

People always say, they'll never leave. But oh, what a lie that is. Because, yes, leaving can be hard, but once you being to leave, it is the easiest thing to do. But here's the thing about leaving, you never fully come back. You're just too used to leaving, and being free.

Harry had always said that he'd never leave Louis. Yet, look where they are now. Louis was left alone, with false hope because Harry couldn't live up to his word because Harry was "too scared to fall in love".

Louis never left Harry, he had always been there for the boy, and this is what the world gives him in return. All that being said, Louis knew deep down that if Harry came back he'd give him another chance; because deep down he knows that he'll always love Harry. There was argument there.

But then again, love is stupid, and people always leave.

--

It was currently nine in the morning, on a Saturday, Louis' birthday, to be exact, and exactly three months, since he'd last spoken to Harry.

Liam and Jay apperenlty had plans for Louis, his sisters were at their dad's house for Christmas. Louis really didn't feel like celebrating today, he just wanted to rest and deal with the fact that he was eighteen, and now a legal adult. He. Was. Old.

Today was also the first birthday he was going to be spending without Harry, and that shocked him, because this was going to be the first birthday without Harry. He was always there, even when they were "plantoic".

Harry being gone, made Louis' life so overly compilcated, and Louis couldn't believe how over dramatic he was being, and he then he could imagine Harry telling him he wasn't being over dramatic.

Anyways, Louis woke up to the sent of pancakes being cooked, and Liam all up in his face, had Liam been any closer, they'd be kissing.

"What the fuck, Payne." Louis said, voice crackling.

"Well gee, good morning to you too, sunshine." Liam backed up, chucking.

As Louis sat up, Liam held out a small plate, and said, "We ran out of cupcake mix, so here, have a blueberry birthday muffin," Louis chuckled, looking at the one candle that was sat upon the little muffin, "c'mon, blow out the candle and make a wish."

Louis looked at Liam with a blank stare, before blowing out the candle, not really wishing for other things, wishes don't work, Louis knows this because Louis has made far too many wishes on stars, candles, and countless 11:11's, and none of his wishes ever came true.

"Louis, wishing on muffin candles is not going to bring Harry back. If you want him back, you've got to be one hundered percent commited, and you've got to do everything within your power to get him back." Liam sighed, taking a bite of the muffin before givng it to Louis.

"Did you really just eat a bite of my birthday muffin?" Louis chuckled, completely ignoring what Liam said.

"I needed to make sure it wasn't posinous, wouldn't want my best friend dying on his birthday." Liam chuckled, leaving Louis alone.

Louis sat back in his bed and sighed, he'd start next year, he decides, next year he'll do everything to get Harry back. But not today, today he wanted to cope with the fact that he was now eighteen, and a full grown adult. A man. Louis was about to get into existential crisis position, which means sit in the closet, cry, and don't come out until he looks like he hasn't been crying, when he heard Liam and his mom laughing, and smiled, because even though he missed Harry, he had to admit, his life was pretty damn good.

-

An hour passed, and Louis was still sat here, in the closet, in Harry's sweat shirt, holding a teddy bear. Because that's what mature, eighteen year old boys do. Louis was currently wiping his eyes when his closet door opened, and someone walked in. Louis knew who it was, because there was only one person who knew of Louis' issues.

"What?" Louis sniffled.

"Mom made you her annual birthday cupcake, she says happy birthday, you're a man now. She misses you and what's you to stop by." Harry said, laying his head on Louis' shoulders.

"No, I meant what are you doing here, what are you talking to me for?" Louis sassed, shaking Harry off him.

"Is today not your birthday?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Harry, you haven't talked to me in three months, are you using my birthday as an excuse to talk to me?" Louis questioned.

"No. Of course not, I don't want to be around you because I don't want like you because I don't want to get back together with you."

"Well damn, Harry, way to drop the load lightly." Louis chuckled, not really giving a shit what Harry said because he was getting Harry back one way or another.

"I'm sorry, I just don't. You don't deserve to get hurt again."

"The fact that you automatically assume that I'll give a shit whether I get hurt or not is a little upsetting."

"You know how much I care about you." Louis laughed at that, even though he knew Harry was being serious.

Louis sighed, took a bite of the cupcake, gave the rest to Harry, and stood up, opening his closet door.

"Tell your mom I'll call her, as for you, fuck off."

"Lou-"

"Fuck off, Styles." and with that, Louis walked out of his room.

**************

bit of a shitty update, i just needed to get it updated, more updates whenever the fuck i feel like doing more updates.

all the love, dj c dizzle