nct imagines *all units*

Call It Love // Renjun

"I love you"

His words rang in my ears, repeating like hell on earth. Somehow, I didn't heard it enough. This was a constant reminder that was tried too hard to be made a genuine statement, but was taken and said as if it was a lie. Slowly, I began zoning out from reality. I didn't want to hear it anymore, it's all a lie, it isn't true, it isn't fair!!!!

I snapped back to the real world, hesitsnt on responding to Renjun. I head was pounding as a million thoughts and scenarios flooded my entire mind, tearing away my focus from Renjun at all. I couldn't breathe. He's said this to me and so have I over a hundred times before, but right now, I cut the cord and release every emotion I've ever had built up inside of me on him all at once.

"Do you really Renjun? Tell me that" I said plainly.

He rose his eyebrow in awe, mixed with a dose of confusion. My eyes we're already burning from a familiar, dense feeling known better by heartbroken tears. Renjun took my hands in his, clitching them for dear life. He scoffed, probably assuming I was pulling some stupid prank on him to get attention. Except, this time, it wasn't a prank, but it was definitely soaking up every last drop of his attention.

"Your kidding right?" he asked, his voice breaking a little on the last word.

I shook my head vigorously and kept mouthing "no", cautiously ripping my wrists away from Renjun's grasp.

"Y/N, calm down what are y-"

I cut him off, not giving him any preparation for the anger and emotion that was about to explode right in front of him. I'm so god damn sorry Renjun. But I'm beginning to doubt I can live with myself like this any longer.

"Dont tell me calm down, don't tell me it's gonna be okay, and don't tell me you love me! Don't lie to me Renjun. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm losing a consant battle against something all on my own everyday instead of having help! You are always hanging out with guys until 1 AM, lately it's ran longer,  and leaving me alone in the dark at home! I'm so cold and upset all the time!"

"Y/N.."

"NO RENJUN YOU LISTEN TO ME! You NEVER return my calls, you barely go on dates with me anymore, and beside from all that, anytime we are together if there's other girls there and they flirt, you just let them! Sometimes you flirt back! In front of me, goddamn it, in fucking front of me! I'm your girlfriend, your girlfriend!

"Y/N, ple-"

" No Renjun NO! IM NOT your side chick! So don't give me any more bullshit lies Renjun, because I see right through you. And even though you don't realize it or care fir that matter, I love you. I love you!!! And sure you say it back, but do you show it? No! Never! We've been together for 8 months and not once have we had anything more romantic than holding hands. We've never kissed, cuddled, not even a kiss on the cheek! If I say I'm freezing, I don't expect you to give me your coat, but you cold at least hug me! I know PDA isn't your thing, plus saesangs, fans and reporters, i get that, okay? But god forbid you make a gesture! So there Renjun. I'm not happy. And I would say sorry but I really have nothing to be sorry for in the end. I also would love to tell you that this was great while it lasted but it honestly was the worst thing mt heart has ever felt. And I don't know if anyone or anything can fix it, because I'm so weak over you. No matter what. Whether you actually truly love me or n-" I was out of breath by the time I was nearly done ranting, and it didn't help that a pair of lips we're desperately slammed on mine.

Tears streamed down my face as I pursed my lips gently towards his, kissing back weakly. I couldn't feel any nerves in my body except for my heart thudding in my chest rapidly. His kiss was so determined and critically needed that we didn't notice the time ticking away quickly as our lips never left the others once. The feeling is indescribable. But right now-