Moonlight

1:Moonlight under the moonlight

"And I finally found, you and I collide"

The stars were shining through the fire flames as if they were burning, it was a beautiful view to stare at in a chilly night like this, where the Carnaval was in it's beginning and the lighting from the booths filling the place with a celebration effect.

a loud laughter, girly conversations and flirty talks are adding a music to this view.
Even with all those sounds, crowds and the fresh food smell. I could still recognise the familiar sound of Someone's playing Beethoven's 'moonlight'.
The piano playing gave me a lonely feelings, it felt so sad .. as if the one who is playing it, playing to fill the emptiness inside of him/her.

I gave my friends a glance, they were chatting.. some of them were playing and dancing. Everyone were having fun, just like I'm having fun counting the starts and thinking in my own world.
I have many friends, some are close and some are just friends when we hang out. Even my closest friend, who know the most about me is not that close to me. I'm not the kind of girl the share her life with anyone, We don't chat that much at all.. we don't tell each other everything. We are not that type of besties but we have each other in needs. This is how our friendship goes and I like it that way.
I may have friends just to prove to everyone that I chose to be alone by myself and not because I'm not lovable nor fun.

Yulia my best friend touched my shoulder to take me out of the bubble of thoughts I was in. I glanced at her raising my eyebrow in *what do you want?* face, she smiled and asked me while showing me the melted marshmallow in her hand
"do you want some? It taste amazing"
I gave her half burned marshmallow a look.
"I've never tried it, does it really taste good?" I asked hesitated.
Her smile grow in her face until her eyes winkles shows, then she put her tumps up in my face with a grin
"it taste heavenly, trust me!"

With that I bent my face to the level of her marshmallows and took a big bite, I wasn't really good with sweets and chocolates but that tasted really good. I moaned in joy while closing my eyes and enjoying the taste of the melted marshmallow. without saying anything more I took the other half and ate it.

I looked at her she was smiling while looking at me enjoying myself.
" you should join the others instead of sitting by yourself"
I smiled back at her without saying anything back. I wiped my mouth from the marshmallow.
"I'm going to buy myself a cold water, that marshmallow was so sweet for me.. you want anything?"
"Yeah, bring me water too"
"Alright, I'll walk for a bit around too, see you later"
I waved while walking away from the circle my friends made around the fire.

Even with the conversation I had with Yulia that faint sound of the piano still rings in my ears. I took a deep breath smelling fresh breads from around the Carnaval, I walked lazily glancing at the booths around, searching for something interesting in them, I saw a mother struggling while carrying her heavy child, he was super cute with a lot of cheeks I couldn't stop myself from pinching his already red cheeks, his mother smiled at me and I smiled back and then continue on walking around.

While I was busy glancing here and there, and studying people. A blonde boy around my age shouted at me all of sudden "does it hurt?"
I was confused "what?" I asked while winkling my eyebrows.
"falling from the heaven?"
My expressions went blank, I gave him a dirty look and walked away from him.. I heard his friends mocking him, I felt a little bad but didn't bother to look back.. he was so lame and childish, teenagers are not my style at all.

Since I was young I loved older boys, They are much mature and I always felt more mature than my classmates.
My first and last boyfriend was five years older than me, I was thirteen.. young and naive, I didn't know back then that getting attached was a big crime against yourself, and I got myself attached pretty hard that after we broke up I cried for two years and got a very serious depression, since then I didn't give any body the chance to get past my walls, I show people what I want them to believe not what I really felt, and that worked pretty good in my social departments but not on my depression department, it get worse at some points.. that I tried to commit suicide but my mom saved me from throwing myself from the third floor, it was the first and the last time I tried to commit suicide but it wasn't the last time thinking about death or wishing to die.