Battle Scars

Telling Him

*Troye's POV*

To say I'm nervous is an understatement.

I have been thinking about telling Oliver that I love him for a while, and convinced myself to do it this week.

It's been like almost three years, and I've finally worked up the courage. Things worked out well, because he called me earlier and asked me if I wanted to go to dinner tonight. As soon as he asked I knew I was going to say it.

But now that I'm waiting for him to pick me up, I can feel myself physically shaking.

In the matter of five minutes, he pulls up at my house and I head out to see him. I feel lightheaded as I get into the car, but as soon as we make eye contact everything feels okay again.

"Hi babe." He says quietly. I feel a smile make it's way into my face.

"Hi Oliver."

We share light conversation the entire trip until we pull up to the restaurant. We walk to the door hand in hand, but something doesn't feel quite right about it.

"Evans for two please." Oliver says to the hostess.

She smiles widely at us and motions for us to follow her. She leads us to a table in the back, where there aren't very many people. Which is kind of strange, because usually he likes to sit right in the middle of all the commotion.

I think this is okay though, less people that have the chance of hearing my confession. After we are seated it is oddly silent between us until a woman comes up to our table.

"Good evening gentlemen. My name is Natalie and I am going to be your server tonight. Here are your menus and I'll be back in a few minutes for your orders." She smiles and hands us the menus before walking off. I look at Oliver to find that he's already opened the menu.

This would seem normal to most people, but we always have had an unspoken rule that we'd open the menus together. I'm not sure why, so don't bother asking.

Once I figure out what I'm going to order, I speak up.

"So... how was your day today, babe?" He takes his eyes off the menu for a second before putting it down and gazing around the room instead of at me.

"Uh... it was okay I guess. I didn't do much, just kinda took a day to think. You?" I was surprised as to how similar my response would have been.

"Yeah, pretty much the same." I furrow my brows as he looks around the room some more, before Natalie walks up again.

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?" She asks happily. I reply yes with a smile, before reading off my order to her. She writes it down and looks to Oliver next, who mumbles his order to her.

This was different as well, usually he's more socially interactive than me.

This isn't like him at all.

"Oliver, are you feeling okay?" I ask as Natalie walks off once again. He looks caught off guard, and when we make eye contact I see a split second of fear, but it's gone so fast I don't know if it's my imagination or not.

"Uh... I think so... maybe I'm just kinda tired?" He mumbles again.

"Babe, if you're not feeling well, we can just go home and order takeout. It doesn't matter as long as we're together." His eyes widen, but what throws me off the most is that he... flinches almost when I say together.

"No it's okay, I'll just sleep after dinner. I have a feeling I'll need it." He mumbles the second part under his breath.

Now I'm utterly confused and just want this night to end. He clearly is grumpy because he's tired, and I don't like it when he gets like this at all. Not soon enough, Natalie returns with our food; we both got a glass of red wine and I got a steak dinner while Oliver got a piece of pizza.

Great choices at a fancy ass restaurant, I know, don't remind me.

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I'm shaking and I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know how to react. I don't know how to live. All I know is that I need to leave this restaurant, and as fast as I can, so I start running down the street. As I call an uber I feel the tears coming on. As soon as I hang up the waterworks start.

I'm a sobbing, blubbering boy in a nice outfit, standing at a curb at 8:00pm on a Thursday night, waiting for my uber.

Some people might think that someone died.

Which wouldn't be completely wrong, for a part of me did die.

The uber soon arrived and I list off the first address that pops into my head, an address that I know for a fact is not mine.

The uber driver doesn't even try to start up a conversation and I'm glad.

When we pull up to the requested apartment complex, I pay the driver, apologizing to him and giving him a generous tip.

I stumble out of the vehicle and towards the building.

My mind is switched off but my feet know exactly where to take me. I make my way to the doors, then to the elevator. My right pointed finger immediately presses the button to the fifth floor, the button I've pressed many times in the past, both recent and farther back.

I'm thankful there's no one else in the elevator, I'm sure I look like a wreck, with messed up hair and tear tracks running down my face, and constantly sniffling.

My feet know exactly how many steps to take before stopping in front of the right door, apartment 517. My fist raises by itself and knocks accordingly, even though I have a key on me I don't have the strength to get it out.

"Coming!" I hear a voice shout from inside. The door opens a second later and his face drops when he sees me. "Troye, babe, what happened? Come in, come in." He ushers me into his place and settles me on his couch as I sob harder than I even thought I could.

I look up at him to tell him, but as soon as I look up I start to ball my eyes out again.

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Hey everyone! It's officially the first chapter!! I hope you like it. Sorry it took so long, I've had family home for a while so I wasn't paying much attention to my phone. But, they left now and I'm back!!! I'm so excited and I can't wait for the next chapter. See u next chapter Snowflakes!!

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