There's No Need For Shame

Love The Pain

!!!Trigger warning for this chapter!!!

liam's pov
I walked out of the bedroom quietly to go talk to everyone, it's obvious they all have questions.

"Uh, hey guys" I awkwardly said, breaking them out of their current conversation.

"H, what the heck happened?" Graser said first.

"Please tell me Will is okay" Shelby pleaded.

"Okay, okay, he's fine, he just kind of had a meltdown I guess" I replied.

"Do you know why?" They kept asking more.

"He didn't want to tell me"

"But surely you should know right? You're his best friend and all" they continued.

"Again guys, I don't know"

"H, stop lying" they chanted.

"I'm telling you guys I really don't know"

"H"

"GUYS I DON"T KNOW" I yell, completely forgetting about Will trying to sleep.

"Ugh, fine" They all sighed, definitely annoyed.

I walked over to the couch, I wanted to let Will get some sleep before I got into the room. Graser and Shelby already left for their rooms still annoyed, so that just left me and Parker on the couch. Of course Pokemon was on, but there was obvious tension in the room.

"He didn't tell me anything, you know that right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know"

"Thank you" I sighed.
I started remembering how the night went, everything flashing in my eyes, how I was weary of leaving Will with Shelby, how I opened the door and saw Shelby on top of him, how he tried to apologized then passed out, how we had to go to the hospital, how he was upset with me for not being mad at him, how he had a melt down right in front of me at the hospital, how he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, how everything happened so fast, I just don't know how to feel about the night. It was like my emotions didn't know what to do, I was just nothing.

"Hey, you okay?" I heard Parker ask from beside me.

"No" I started crying into my hands. Parker instantly moved closer to me, hugging me and telling me everything will be okay.

"So much stuff h-happened tonight" I whispered.

"About Will?"

"Y-yeah"

"Liam, he's alright, you're such a good best friend for worrying about him though"

"But it w-was my fault Parker" I clenched onto his shirt, it was the only feeling of reality I had.

"It wasn't, at all"

"Yes i-it was"

"Trust me H, it wasn't, you just want to pin this on yourself, but don't let yourself do that, none of this was your fault"

"Thanks Parker"

"Anything for you Liam"

I smiled, I started feeling better. I stayed in Parker's arms, since I didn't want to go see Will yet, he was the next best thing. I heard footsteps down the hall, it was most likely Shelby going to the bathroom, she does have a tiny bladder.

Will's pov

"GUYS I DON'T KNOW" Echoed through the house. It definitely sounded like H, everyone was probably being so annoying to him, I just want to go and help him. I feel so bad, he's so stressed and everyone interrogating him isn't helping, I just want to go hug him and tell him everything will be okay.

I slowly swing my feet over the side, already making my side burn. I still continue to get up though, H needs me right now. When I finally get up it's already been 5 minutes. I heard Shelby and one of the guys go to their room already, I don't know why H hasn't gone to bed too, is he trying to avoid me, or is he just not tired? I still push myself to go out their though, it's never too late for a hug. Walking will kill me if nothing else does because this is horrendous. When I reach the hall way I can see part of the living room. Parker was hugging H while he cried, so apparently he doesn't need me. Tears coated my eyes as I continued to watch, Parker kept whispering things to him that I couldn't hear and rubbing his back, soon H went from crying to smiling. How did Parker manage to do that? I may never know, but what I do know is I'm not needed. The feeling went straight to my stomach, a mix of regret, being unwanted, wanting to throw up, and many more. I used to get this feeling a lot, but when I started hanging around H it always went away. The only way I knew how to make it go away, was blades. And right now I don't see much of an option to make the feeling go away except that. I started walking to the bathroom. You never know when you're going to feel like you mean nothing so I bring my blades everywhere I go. I usually keep them in the bathroom anyway because people never go searching in here. By now tears have already left my eyes, making the streams running down my face. I went through the cabinet to find a small white box. I lifted the lid to reveal razors, 3 of them, in case one gets taken away or I lose one. I grab the one nearest to me, it was my smoothest one, but it still can cut through skin with effort.

1....

2....

3....

I counted as the dragged the blade over faded lines on my wrist, I haven't done this in almost a year, I forgot what it felt like. At first it was painful and just felt horrible, then once I got deeper I started thinking less. It started feeling better, I was almost enjoying it.

4..

5...

6...

I kept slicing like it meant nothing. Each slit deeper then the last. Why does this feel good? I don't know, but I missed this. I didn't know how much I needed this. I needed to stop though, People will surely notice what I did if I keep going. I set the blade down and grabbed bandages to wrap my arms for the night. Once I finished wrapping my arm I put the box back under the sink where no one will find them and stood up. The pain on my side felt good now, so it didn't really bother me anymore. I walked out of the bathroom and looked down the hall again into the living room. H and Parker were still there, they weren't hugging anymore, but they were both smiling, what did I miss in those few minutes I was gone?

I limped back to my room, putting on a jacket so H wouldn't see what I had done, and crawled into bed. I closed my eyes trying to sleep until I heard someone open the door to my room. I felt them crawl into the bed next to me and try to go to sleep as well. I looked over my shoulder to see H facing away from me, forming into a little ball. Something was up with him, he was most likely mad at me, he's just taking it out way differently than I thought. I guess I deserve it though. I sighed and decided to try and fall asleep again.

Ayyyeeee another chapter!!!!  I hope you don't mind me adding that trigger but I promise everything (well almost everything) will be okay at the end, also in any video with Will and h recently, they seem so flirty with each other and I love it, but this story might come to the end soon, I can't think of anything else for a plot, and I already planned the ending, so yeah. Until next time my dudes ✌️1290 words