Your hand has found its way onto my heart and your fingers have grasped it tightly. I love you and nothing I write will ever show you how much I feel for you. I feel like I'm running out of words. There are so many things I feel like I should write for you but I feel like if I tried I wouldn't make sense. I just want you to understand this. I love you, and you say you're a problem but you're my solution. You say you're the issue, I want a subscription. I want you. You're all I want and you dont believe me and I know this, its okay right now, but its true. You are all that I want, I dont want anything more or anything less than you. You see so much in me that I cant seem to find. You say I deserve all these things but I dont want those things if it means I lose you.
I love you, I cant lose you. If I lose everyone but you I'll be okay. You told me that I'd be okay if you disappeared, I wouldn't. I'd only become more destructive, I would only hurt so much more, not just the people around me but myself too. You told me that I would live, I would, but for long? Im oh so very tired of people leaving. You say you dont want to leave me, you just want to leave everything else but in doing that you're leaving me. Im being selfish, I'm trying to hold on to you as tightly as I can without it hurting you. I'm sorry I'm so selfish but I need you, I hate myself for saying it but I do, I need you. You are not just a want anymore. I have no clue what to do when you're not around, I just sit there and think about you and everything you are and I wonder if I'm doing okay for you. I need you, you are a need in my heart, I cannot let go.
IneedyouIneedyouIneedyouIneedyouIneedyouIneedyou
I need you. I love you, you may not believe me but I do, I love you. I love you and its scary because I dont know how to do anything but I want to learn for you.
Dark and scary things have always excited me, and you used to seem dark and scary to me. Talking to you now you dont seen dark and scary at all. The only scary thing about you is how much power you hold over my heart. You effect me too much.
I really hate myself, I hate everything about me but I dont feel as bad when Im with you. I still really hate myself but it doesnt feel as bad, I dont feel as bad, I feel more comfortable and I dont know why.
Ive lost myself, I dont know who I am, everything is so confusing to me other than you. You're the only thing I know about at this point.
Jan 19, 2017
