Him or her || joshler

Chapter 3

Tyler POV

I think I fell asleep while Josh and I were watching a movie.

When I woke up I was laying with my head on Josh's lap, did I do that?

He was playing with my hair, I like the feeling of that so I pretended I was still asleep.

I decided I'd just "wake up", and go upstairs to sleep.

-"haha what're you doing buddy?" I tried to sound like I just woke up and he seemed to buy it.

He had a hard time speaking, did I make him nervous? Why would I though, we've been friends for a few years now.

I asked him if we could just go upstairs and go to sleep. Even though I just woke up I was pretty tired.

-"you take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch"
I was kinda disappointed he said that, and I don't really know why, I mean we've shared a bed on tour before so it isn't that weird.

Thinking about tour, we have some shows planned in a few weeks, in our hometown, to be more specific, Columbus Ohio.

I didn't want to start to worry about tour before sleep, so I shook it off.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and checked my phone to see the time.

4:05am, way too early to get up. I looked at Josh to see him stare at the ceiling.

-"how long have you been awake?"

-"I don't know, what time is it" Josh said with a soft voice, not looking away from the ceiling.

I sighed and told him the time, he didn't seem to care though, what's up with him?

-"Josh tell me what the hell is going on with you" I didn't mean to sound mad but it was stressing me out not knowing what's going on with him.

And then, he spilled everything.

-"imgayandimsorryihaventtoldyouyetbutikindalikeyou" he said catching his breath afterwards. I saw tears starting to form in his eyes, I felt really bad for him now. He seemed like he needed his space so I didn't go over to hug him.

I didn't hear the last part, he talked too quick.

-"I'm sorry I didn't catch the last part?"

-"never mind" was all he said.

-"do you hate me"

-"of course not? Your sexuality doesn't change your personality, and besides, we're best friends, I won't ever judge you." I chuckled.

He seemed really relieved, and I'm glad he finally told me.

I noticed he was still wearing my sweater I gave him before we went to bed, he looks good in my clothes.

What am I saying, it's Josh, he looks good in everything.

Why am I thinking all this, ugh I can't think straight anymore, in both ways not.

-"what about we just get up and play some mario kart?"
-"yeah sure, I don't think I'll be getting much sleep anyways" he smiled.

God I love his smile.

When we finally stopped playing mario kart I noticed it's light.

I checked the time, "10:00am" it said, damn, have we been playing that long?

I stood up and walked to the kitchen.

-"you want breakfast?" I yelled.

-"yeah sure"

I still had left overs from Taco Bell in the fridge so I grabbed them, and put them in the microwave.

I didn't notice Josh stood up and walked up to me.

Out of nowhere he hugged me from behind, I didn't mind though, it felt safe.

I turned around to face him, and noticed his arm were tightly around my waist.

His grip loosened and he let go, he cupped my cheek and kissed me.

I was shocked for a second and didn't really know what to do, and he immediately let go of me.

-" I- I'm really s- sorry"

Was all he said before he ran away with tears.

He slammed the door shut behind him and there I was, standing in my kitchen not knowing what just happened.

I didn't kiss him back.

Stupid.

I wanted to go after him, but I wasn't sure, did he want space? Or should I calm him down? I didn't even know where he went.

Ugh this is my fault.

730 words be proud😂 a little joshler fluff yassss I really hope y'all like this (even tho only my fren is reading this bcus I sort of asked her to lol)