KID THE DEATH (In Love With A Grim Reaper) [BOOK TWO]

Save Me From My Grief

After that night, my emotions became mute.
When I did leave my room, I wouldn't speak to anyone.
Not mum, Sakura. No one.

I wouldn't smile, I wouldn't show my tears, my anger, my sorrow, nothing.

When I was alone, I would fall into a pit of tears. Sobbing, sniffing, and reeling myself that I should have died that night.
I had my room back, but the scent of perfume, and fake nail glue, didn't help my anger.
Many nights I would cut myself. Blaming my self for his passing. After all, it was my fault. It's okay though I'm in to much misery to feel any pain.

Mum doesn't know about my self harm, and I intend on keeping it that way. If she knew, I would loose to many privileges. I would probably have to go to therapy. That's why I'm staying silent about it.
She doesn't even know about dad. How he had been there for me the whole time.

If he had told me to call Kid, and told others to do certain things by giving them the idea, then is he the one who's telling me to self harm? No. I'm being stupid. This is Dad I'm talking about. If anything, he would make me stop if he could.

I don't want to cut, but I have to. For my own good. I should have been that witch's victim. She should have just gotten her wish.

I guess all these thoughts have just mixed themselves all together, only to blow up all at once.

I'm laying in bed watching the moon yet again, from my window. My vision wasn't clear, because of the almost constant tears slowly building up in my wet eyes.

My last few dreams had been about Kid.
It's always the one dream. Over and over again.

I'm standing in a white field with butterfly's  flying everywhere around me. In a blurry distance, I see a boy with raven black hair with three white stripes, dressed in a pristine white suit.
He slowly approaches standing a couple meters away from me, and whispers things under his breath.
Confused, I say;
"What did you say? I-I can't hear you."
He would then turn and walk away. As if it was a rewind.
That same dream, every night for the past week since the calamity happened.
Sometimes he would point at me, and whisper another word. There have been different cases.