Falling for Him

Chapter 2-The Word

"You're fat Jess. And I have a reputation to worry about. Having a fat girlfriend is bringing me down on the popularity scale." I couldn't believe what he was saying. How could I be that fat? "Jason I-" I start. "Stop. I'm not finished. I can't let my reputation be ruined by a fat girl who isn't even that pretty." I can't breathe. "Jason, what are you saying?" I ask, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I'm dumping you, Jess. Can't you see that?"
---
Our friend's group is a bit strange. Harper is the bitch of the group, Peyton is the only one of us who can put up with her. We let her stick around because she's a good person to have as a friend. Yes, she's mean but that can be an advantage for us at times.

Peyton is the nice one, the forgiving one. The one who sees the best in everyone.

Carmen is the honest one, you can always trust Carmen to tell you if you actually look nice.

Amie is the brave one. The slightly crazy one. The reckless one. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because she persuades us into doing things that we never would if she wasn't there. Bad because one of us always gets injured in the process.

Maya is the fashionable one. Just so long as Kylie has worn it, it doesn't matter about the price. Maya is the kind of person who spends hours in front of the mirror every morning to make sure her hair and makeup is in order.

I'm the studious one, the responsible one. The only one of the group that does their homework and everyone else copies it.

None of us are particularly good listeners. It's a bit irritating really.

"Last night was so much fun, wasn't it?" Maya says. I nod and continue to nibble on my salad. "You'll come out again tonight, won't you?"

Shoot!

-Would it be really mean just to say no?

Yes, Jess, it would be mean to tell your best friends that you don't want to spend time with them!

"I can't," I say. "Mum wants me to spend more time studying as it's exam year." I feel really bad, lying to her. Mum doesn't care about my studies, no-one in my family does.

"Aww J, it won't be any fun without you!" Jeez Maya, don't make me feel too bad!

"Sorry," I say. And I am sorry, just not sorry enough to go with her tonight.

"I'll tell the girls. They're going to be gutted! Are you sure you can't come?" she asks. I roll my eyes. I'm not allowed to go means I'm not allowed to go! "Because you're parents are hardly ever at home! Would they even notice if you weren't at home?" No, they wouldn't notice. I make a mental note: Next Time Think of a Better Lie. "Live a little!"

I roll my eyes. "I am living M! I came out last night, didn't I? There's no point in me overdosing on caffeine and failing all my classes!" I say, scoffing.

She pouts. "You over-exaggerate so much J! You're not going to fail all your exams if you don't study for one night!"

"Who's not gonna study? Other than me!"

Shoot! That's Harper and the rest of the girls. They sit down next to us and look at me and Maya with curious looks on their faces.

"Jess is going to sneak out tonight to come hang out with us," Maya says.

"Yes! This is my area of expertise!" says Amie excitedly.

"So do you have any ideas already or do you need total help? Because climbing out the window could be a good idea because your bed room is on the second floor. Do you know if your parents will be at home?"

"Woah, Amie, that was full on! No, they probably won't be home. And I do not want to go out the window and possibly die!" I say, desperately trying to get out of this situation.

"It wouldn't be the first time that you almost died and it was your fault. You should be used to that sort of thing," says Harper. My mouth hangs open in a highly unattractive way. How dare she? She has no right to say that! I don't have time to say anything before Maya steps it.

"Oh My God! Harper, you did not just say that! How dare you! Last year was not Jess's fault and you know that!" Maya is standing up and I'm so grateful for her friendship even if she isn't the best listener.

"No-one asked her to stop eating! No-one told her to be anorexic!" I wince at the word. "It was her own choice!"

"We agreed that this wasn't her fault or choice. Can we move on?" asks Amie.

"I'm just saying. She didn't have to stop eating. Jason didn't force you to stop eating. He didn't even ask you to! Everyone keeps on saying 'It wasn't her fault' and 'She didn't have a choice'. She did have a choice! Everyone has a choice in life. We tried to get you to eat-we tried everything! And even after a year, you're still not eating properly! You sit over there nibbling on your salad and you think that none of us notice! We're not completely dense! Unlike you!" she shouts.

I can't believe she would say this! She's supposed to be my friend! I can feel the anger bubbling up inside me.

I stand up. "If that's how you feel, then let me tell you something. I know what happened last year was my fault. I'm not dense. I know it was my choice and I know I messed up. I also know that I'd prefer it if my friends were a bit nicer about it. I know I'm still not eating as much as any of you, I'm still recovering. You can't just magically start eating again!" I say angrily.

I pick up my bag and lunch and leave the table.

----------

I feel like the book just got depressing.