"Jess, we're going to the canteen for Carmen, you coming?" it's Parker. I shake my head. "I'm going home for lunch so I'll get food there." Lie. Was I going home? Yes. Was I going to eat at home? No. Ignorance is bliss. Parents think I'm at school for lunch, friends think I'm at home for lunch.
---
I storm into the place that I'm supposed to call a home. I stand still for a second to make sure no-one is home. No-one is. I run up two-steps at a time to my room, the one place I can truly let go. I go to my wardrobe and pull out most of the contents, and throw them in a rubbish bag-the only place they belong.
I look into the wardrobe when I'm finished. This is the time that I realize I need to go shopping. Maya, this is your area of expertise!
We need to go shopping! ASAP!
She replies almost immediately.
No can do. I'm going out with the girls tonight.
Since when did she turn down a shopping trip? Shopping is literally her life!
Please! It's urgent!
Why do I even need to beg? She's usually the one begging me to go shopping!
I don't ditch my friends when I say I'll go out with them.
Oh, I get it now. Maya is annoyed because I'm not going out. I'm not going to have no clothes because she won't come! I don't have to have Maya to go shopping.
I haul my rubbish bags down the stairs, and into the kitchen. There's a note sitting on the kitchen table and a microwave dinner. I pick up the note.
Jessica,
Your father and I have gone to London for work. Try to keep the phone calls to a minimum.
I throw the note into the bin and pick up the dinner. Battered chicken and chips. Ugh. I put it in the fridge, deciding that I'll buy something out. Walking into the hallway, I check my phone. No texts or calls. No surprises there. I pick up my bag and leave the house.
Exiting the bus, I realize that I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Do I even know my size anymore? Are maxi skirts still in fashion?
-I should call Maya. I need Maya!
No, Jess, you don't! Just walk in and pick nice clothes. Fashion doesn't matter!
Deciding to agree with my gut, I walk into the shopping centre looking what I hope is confident.
Procrastination is not something that I usually suffer. Until today. The second I saw my favourite restaurant, I couldn't resist. I could feel my legs walking me sub consciously over.
I choose my favourite meal and start eating while reading The Fault in our Stars. My favourite book.
"Hey," says a male voice. I look up, getting ready to give out to someone for interrupting me. It's Adam Johnston. The school hottie. "Mind if I sit?"
"Sure," I say, marking my page and putting away my book. He's holding the same meal as me.
"Are you shopping?" he asks. I nod. What else would I be doing?
"By yourself?"
I raise my eyebrows. "There's nothing wrong with going shopping by your self," I say.
He puts his hands up in surrender. "Of course not. I just thought Maya would be with you."
"She's not," I say, stabbing my chicken with my fork.
"I sense some tension." I glare at him. Why is everyone getting so observant?
"No tension," I say, praying to the Gods that he'll believe me. He doesn't.
"I'm a good listener," he says smiling. I roll my eyes.
"OK, maybe there is tension! My so-called-friends can't deal with the fact that I don't want to go out with them to that stupid Café! We go to a bloody Café! Not a nightclub. Why do they need to dress like that? It's a bloody Café! And then Maya gets mad because I want to go shopping! She wants to make sure I look good. She always wants to go shopping! Why not today? They're so aggravating!" I rant. He looks shocked. "Sorry."
"Leave it all out, that's what I always say."
"They just don't get it! There's a reason that I don't want to go to the Café and wear the clothes they wear! And they know the reason! Yet they still try to force me to dress like that! And I hate it!" I say. "That's why I'm here because none of my clothes fit me," I say calming down a bit.
He looks awkward. "Oh."
And now I feel bad. I just completely went on rant mode.
"Sorry," I say.
"No, it's fine but if you want someone to make sure you look good, I have nothing better to do so."
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So, I didn't update on time. Get used to that with me.
YOU ARE READING
Falling for Him
RomanceIt's exactly a year since Jessica Byrne fainted and she still hasn't recovered. With her parents working 24/7 and her friends not the concerned-and-caring type, Jess isn't sure there's anyone who cares; anyone who she can turn to. Until she meets th...
