Nineteen Sixty-Four // Starrison

Chapter 7

The time was passing by cruelly slowly, slower then George wanted it to. He wished there was Monday already — the day of their meeting. He was thinking only about this although he tried not. Harrison didn’t want to appear too happy. Too free.

Him and only him. The blue-eyed man. His face. His smile. His personality. Enthusiasm. All of this made George even more fascinated in Richard — as if they were meant for each other. They made some kind of connection the first day they’ve seen each other.

Then, one day, it hit Harrison. Caught him without a guard and hit him with all of its power.

He was in love with Richard.

Love.

So strange word. He had no idea when he heard it the last time. Love became in the present world something slowly getting forgotten, fading away. There was no love to children from their parents. To wife from husband. To friend from friend. Only gloom love to Big Brother, in the result of fear and terror. Because love was something what the Party feared. The most powerful feeling. Cruelly eradicated. The lust was forbidden, children were raised against their parents. A pair couldn’t get married when it was obvious they’re in love. Relationship could result only in children.

George felt shivers on his body. He loved him. Desired him. Love. Desire. It’s hard to imagine bigger crimes than this.

He’ll die. He was dead already. Dead man. Vaporized. No. First of all, tortured. The Thought Police was going to him. Who did he try to fool? There was nothing to hide when it came to the Party.

Help.

Harrison fought an impulse to curl up on the floor like a terrified child and took a few deep breaths. After a moment he calmed himself enough to think rationally.

He couldn’t change the fact he fell in love with Starkey. He’s never known this feeling before, but he was sure this is love. The way he thought about him. The way he always wanted to be around him. George couldn’t get over this feeling. The fact that Richard is man didn’t make it easier. If woman and man’s love happened from time to time, man to man’s…

How was this even possible?

Harrison realized he’s dead in so many ways he wanted to laugh.

But screw it, screw it! He won’t let them tear this feeling apart. Until he loved Richard, he’d have hope for a better tomorrow.

A clock was merciless; its hand cruel. Time was laughing at him. Monday’s work was torturing him. Until finally! The hour he could back home. But instead of home, he walked to a train station, preying that nobody would consider it suspicious. After all, he wasn’t doing anything against law right now.

George left the train on the third station and, according to Richard’s instructions, headed west. A pable path soon turned into a simple, muddy track. He was now in the woods, a rare occasion. Trees were blossoming and getting greener slowly, birds singing quietly on murmuring branches. There was no sign of snow that slowly melted away, flowers replaced its whiteness, each one flattering itself with beautiful colors and dancing between the grass. Everything looked brighter and warmer, sunlight turned delicate and kissed his cheek. This breathtaking view made George gasp. Another great thing was silence — far away from Liverpudlian noise.

The young man let himself drown in a beauty of nature waking up to life after cold winter when suddenly he realized he’s not alone.

Richard was standing near in a dull grey coat. But his eyes, on a contrary, shone with happiness. Harrison smiled, seeing how small he was, and ran to him.

“Ritchie…” He stopped next to him, not sure what to say, what to do. But Starkey solved this problem and hugged George, hiding head in the man’s chest. The younger one froze in friend’s embrace and feared to react somehow, but finally hugged back.