The D i r e c t i o n e r s Initiative [Ziall Horlik]

Chapter 7 - Darkness Becomes Me

Recap:

My eyes lock to the lump underneath the sheets, where, I guess, a male body lies, who solicited that groan. It shifted slightly, until he spoke again, speech all slurred down by being newly awaken –

“Who turn on the lights? Leave me alone god-fucking-damn it!”

But I never move, because his voice never convinced me of anger, in fact, it convinced me of pain. So I move towards him, this man propping himself against the bed using his elbows, but eyes not quite open yet. I realize the loss of control I have for my body as I move closer and closer to him, until I was at beside and being able to see his jet black hair, in beautiful locks that point in every direction, his face perfectly shaped and amazingly tanned and his naked chest, half-filled with tattoos of words and flowers and number and animals, and I stood there, filled with awe, realizing who it was. And finally, once again betrayed by my own mouth, his name escapes my lips in a whisper,

“Zayn” 

But he hears it, as his eyes shot open, staring right back at me with irises brimmed in gold. His pupils narrow at the sight of me but I don’t squirm or hide my face because everything feels so – familiar. It feels like we do this every time, staring at each other wordlessly but still all meaningful. I notice the quivering of his plump lips, a sea of luscious pink, parting in half.

“Niall”

His voice was faint; unsure. And that was all I needed to convince myself, I am Niall Horan. I want to be Niall Horan. If I could spend the rest of my life looking at the glory that was ‘Zayn’ then I’ll take it.

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I never dreamt of it.”

“Me too, but I dreamt of you. Every sleeping moment and it – it hurts to wake up all it was, was a dream.”

“But you’re awake now, are you? And I’m here?”

“Then this is probably a dream, more beautiful than any of my others, but still a dream. And since you are another version of Niall in my head, I’ll think I’ll tell you a secret.”

I can’t help but cause a faint laughter witnessing how adorable he is in this ‘just-woken up’ state.

“What is it?”

“I never closed the door to our flat and that I’m sleeping in your room so that I’ll be the first person you’ll see. Ha-ha, I know it’s a little petty for a secret but then you’re first dream Niall who ever talked with me and you – you look so real, like I could hold you”

As he says this, he does reach out to cup my face in his large hands and I lean in, meeting calloused fingers to caress my cheeks. He does not seem to get the idea that this was not a dream as he smiles, and it was more peace that I ever had since I woke form that two year long nightmare.

“But Zayn, this isn’t a dream.” I say as I sit at the side of the bed, inches close to his chiseled body.

“If it isn’t, then prove it.” He clenches his jaw “On second thought, let me confirm it.”

And so, both his hand travel down and towards my waist and he pulls me gently towards him.  My left hand hovers over his body, supporting mine, as the space that separates us, narrow down to the inches and my right hand rest on the side of his neck, my thumb impatiently stroking the skin underneath his ear. Centimeters apart and my breathing spikes but our eyes are lock on to each other full of emotions, it might explode. Millimeters away and I could feel his deep, warm breathes in my face and I know well enough, he can feel mine against his face too, our lips part as they get nearer with each other but they don’t touch - yet.

I see his eyes close and I followed suit, closing they space between us; our mouths, fulfilling my wishes and confirming his doubts. And then, I felt it. In the bottom of my stomach, like when I hugged Justin back then only ten times stronger, and I’m sure that, by the way my cheeks warmed up,  I was ten times as red too.

“In my dreams, I can only be this close to you and before I could, I wake up. But now, it finally feels like you here and I can finally kiss you.”

He grabs me a closer to his body as he leans his entire bodydown back to bed, pulling me down with him by surprise. Both my hands rest on his naked pectors as he kisses me again, hungrier this time, with him sucking on my tongue and his (tongue) slipping inside my mouth.

I pushed him hard this time, resisting the urge down in my pants and he stares at me in shock.

“If you’re done having wet dreams, the boys would like to invite you downstairs for a little gathering.”

He stares at me, skeptically and looks around the entire room. Figuring he got the idea, I prop myself up, turn my back against him and leave for the door. I see him try to stand, in the corner of my vision, while screaming my name but he falls back to bed. I open the door only to be met by Louis who

“Hey Ni, he’s not in not in his room did you –“

Louis’ words were cut short or I stopped hearing them as I rushed past him, feeling the tears stinging my eyes. The last thing I would want is a pity party for me.

“I guess you found him” I hear Louis say, before sighing loudly.

My trust my feet can guide me away from these people even for just a while, but I doubt it will lead me to a bathroom where I can fix this mess I’m in, so I’ll have to – a pain pounds my head bringing me down to my knees and images flash in my head, of me smiling and laughing with Zayn and the other boys, the talk of bedrooms, windows and furniture and bathroom. The headache stops and I’m back to my feet again, heels stomping hurriedly against the white stone steps to the bathroom in the first floor. I found it after a few seconds and huffing out a thank you it wasn’t moved or anything, I make my way in and I’m stupefied with the area that was the bathroom. It was HUGE! Like an entire car could fit. But I push the thoughts of awe back as I remember the situation at hand. I stare at the mirror, staring at the swollen lips and bloodshot tears and puffy cheeks. Somewhere from the room to here, I had managed to break down and made myself look like a sobbing tomato.

My fingers trace my lips softly, realizing the tingly sensations that the kisses had left there, and the difference in its sensitivity. I thought it was only in my dreams. I thought I’d never figure it out, but now I guess I was wrong. Utterly and sickeningly wrong, as sickening as the feeling in the pits of my stomach.

But before I could breakdown fully, I pull myself and my thoughts together, turning the faucet knob on and leaning in to splash water unto my face, swallowing the lump in my throat and the taste of chili sauce and mint cigar. Finally satisfied, I stop and turned off the rushing water and grabbing a nearby towel clothe and wiping my face. I sighed at the thought of Zayn. We were both awake, but everything that has ever happened was a dream. I put my hands to my chest, trying to tame the wild beating of my heart. Whatever he was doing, I know it can only lead to something beautiful – and dangerous.

So I turn towards the door, opening it and leaving. I walk towards the living area, hearing familiar voices talking, even his. I can to this. I try to convince myself before walking towards them and they all fall silent as they see me enter the room. My gaze fall to a familiar black haired boy, staring back my blue eyes against his amber ones, and right there I realize not who I was, but what I wanted. I walked towards the soft-looking couches that was round and plopped myself against it, sitting beside Liam and Harry and was in front Zayn, himself sitting between Harry and Louis. I saw all of them smiling as I sit and look around but my eyes were undeniably zeroed against his eyes. No smile was etched in his face but his eyes say it all. And my life was now invaded by irises etched in gold and tattoos and tanned skin and black hair and with this I realized that I was a goner.

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No author's note! i have possesed the author. the author wants to dedicate the chapter to @cuddlezlarry because she followed the author and the author hopes she reads his stories >:)

now, i will make the author split his pants.... and run around the neighborhood. huehehehehe

hahaha  Faaan. Voooote. Cooomment.

XoXo

-Possesed Alpha <3