The Loud Crowd

12. Love is Pain

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We were back in the bus for a few days. We'd visited the same studio a couple more times since we began the first track, only to keep working on it. It still wasn't finished, and I was beginning to panic that Elliot would say something about our time frame - but at the same time, I wouldn't be happy with the album unless I knew we'd worked on it as hard as possible. 

We were en route to Illinois, the drive made slower by the increase in traffic along the dark highway. Lights glared across the way, red and white blurring together in the frosted glass of the tiny bathroom window. I was sat on the closed lid of the toilet, rolling my eyes as my Dad tried (and failed miserably) to give me relationship advice over the phone. 

"-work through it?"

I sighed. "No, Dad, I don't think we can work through it. This time, its different, there's something broken and I don't know how to even begin to fix it. If I knew what it was."

"Honey, I just think both of you are over-thinking things. You're young, you're in love. You're so worked up about being in a band and having to record albums and play shows that you're adding that stress into your relationship. Stop worrying and just enjoy being young and in love." Dad said, sounding wiser than I'd ever heard.

I closed my eyes, relieved I'd taken the call in private after all. Even if 'private' in a tour bus meant being perched on the cold toilet lid with the door locked. "But we can't act young and in love in public. And I think that's what made him so mad to begin with."

"Why can't you?" He sounded genuinely confused. "If you two are happy, go for it."

"But I want him and the band. And it seems that while ever Elliot's around, I can't have both like I want. I need to choose between the two things I love most." I pressed my lips together. "I miss you, Dad."

"I miss you too, sweetie. But don't change the subject. Why not move on to another label? One that'll accept inter-band relationships?" 

I groaned. "If only it was that easy! There's a clause in our contract that says we need to do at least two tours with Aware not to mention the LP before we can even think about changing management."

I could almost hear Dad frowning in disapproval. "You should've had the contract looked over by a lawyer before you signed your lives away so quickly."

"I know, I know, we've learned our lesson. Don't worry. I've got to go - we're playing Illinois in a few hours and I need to attempt to lessen the tension before we go on, OK?" I sighed. "Miss you."

He chuckled. "OK, Lyra. Sing your heart out, or don't bother going on stage. Love you."

"Love you too," I hung up with a click. 

I pulled my knees up underneath my chin, perched uncomfortably on the toilet lid. The ride so far had been nothing but awkward. I had gone so long without talking to Freddie before. 

Realizing that I couldn't hide out in there forever, I stood and unlocked the door. I walked smack into Freddie, who had obviously been waiting for me to finish. I smiled cautiously, before throwing caution to the winds and blurting, "You're still my best friend, right Fred?" Like a child. 

His eyes widened as though in surprise, before he pulled me into a bone-cracking hug. "'Course I am, idiot. Just... I wish we could just do a tour, you know? Like we planned, with no drama."