Fearless part 2

Chapter 1

Jc's POV

It's been a long day. It started off great just chillin' with my boys and then Brittney surprised me by coming over. I love seeing her. She's so much more to me than just my girlfriend. She's my world, my air, my sky, my earth, my day, my night, my sun, my moon, my stars, my everything. She keeps me going. She keeps me alive. 

I've been at the hospital since this afternoon. I looked at my phone again and it was almost one in the morning. I must have dozed off, but I was wide awake now. I haven't seen Brittney since we rushed her over here almost twelve hours ago. It was killing me. I need to see her.

I stood up and walked over to the counter where two nurses sat.

"Can I go see her yet?" I whispered.

"Who?" the nurse asked.

"My girlfriend? Brittney? Can I go see her?"

"Oh, you're Justin right? Justin Caylen?"

"Yes that's me."

"Yeah you can go see her now. Let me just get you a pass, sweetie."

"Thank you," I whispered. I had been wanting all day to go and see her, but now that it was actually happening I was nervous.

Not even twelve hours ago she told me some news that I never saw coming. News that I'm not even sure how to feel about, but none of that matters now. None of it matters because our baby is dead. Never did I think that I would have to go through something like this. You never imagine your girlfriend or wife getting pregnant and loosing the baby. How do you even begin to recover from that? You can't. It just happens. Time heals all wounds as my grandpa used to say.

"I sure hope you're right gramps." I said under my breath.

"What sweetie?" the nurse asked.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking aloud."

"Oh well here's your pass. Go right on in. She's the third door on the left."

I took the pass and stuck it on my shirt. "Thanks."

I walked down the hall in silence. I couldn't help myself from biting on my thumb nail to keep my from exploding. I walked past the first door. One. I counted in my head and kept walking. The second door. Two. This next one was mine. Three. The door was opened but the curtain was closed. I closed my eyes and stood there for a second. I took in a deep breath and held it in, my eyes still closed.

"Jc...is that you?" I heard her from inside the room.

I stuck my hand out and opened the curtains. Brittney was laying on the hospital bed. Her hair was messily tied up on the top of her head and she was wearing one of those hospital gowns.

"Hi baby." I said giving a soft smile but it quickly faded when I saw her reaction. Baby! Great choice of words dumbass.

A tear rolled down Brittney's cheek and I walked over and wiped it off.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." I whispered and took her hands in mine.

She didn't say anything. She just stared at our hands, so I did too.

I still wasn't sure how to feel, but being here now with Brittney and seeing the affect this was having on her was making this all so real. She just lost a baby. She just lost our baby. I just lost my son or daughter. Tears were building up in my eyes. God I hope time heals this hurt, grandpa. I leaned over and rest my head on Brittney's shoulder. She leaned her head on mine.

I just lost my child. I just lost my baby. Oh God. I tried so hard to stay quiet and not to cry, but trying to blink back the tears only brought them forward. Tears fell from my eyes and onto Brittney's shirt. I was hoping she would notice but she did.

"Jc?" she leaned away and looked at the wet spot on her shoulder. "Jc, what's wrong?"

She scooted over in her bed and patted the spot next to her. I sat down.

"Justin?" she said lifting my chin so I was looking into her eyes. "What is it?"

I shoot my head, but she wasn't having it.

"Justin Cloud Caylen. I know what it is, but I'm not going to let you be a 'big strong man' and try to hold it in. It's not healthy, babe." She looked deep into my eyes. "You don't have to be strong for me, babe. I'm your safe place. It's ok. I promise."

I covered my face with my hands. I wanted to keep it in. It was easier that was wasn't it? I had just found out that she was pregnant and now it was all gone, like it never happened. I never thought I could feel this much pain. It was over whelming. It was too much. I looked up at her and tears just streamed down my face. She looked at me and rubbed my back.

"I....my...that was my baby." I said through my sobs. 

"Oh Jc," Brittney said wrapping her arms around me and pulling me too her. I rest my head on her chest and wrapped my arms around her waist where our baby once lived. The tears still coming strong. "Shhhhh it's ok. You just let it all out. Shhh it's ok." Her voice was shaky and I could tell she was crying now too. "Don't worry. We're going to make it through this alright? Just me and you. Don't worry."