be my friend · todoroki shouto x reader

×10× the one and only

[name]'s pov

I've always been scared of heights. I was scared of everything that involved being high up - the planes, helicopters, even climbing up the tree terrified me. I'm not anymore.

I've always been scared of talking to people. I was scared of being ignored or constantly interrupted. I'm not anymore.

I've always been scared of falling in love and not being loved back. I'm not anymore.

Right now, when I'm standing on the top of the building and look down on the ground, I'm not scared at all. I'm not scared of anything. I don't feel anything. I haven't felt any emotions since Shouto left this world. No hapiness, no anger, even the feeling of sadness was forbbiden to me. It's been a month since his death. I felt numb, emotionless, empty. I lost a big piece of me, and I will never find anyone like him. Anything that I did, or should I say I tried to do, felt pointless to me - what's the point of going to school if Shouto's not there? What's the point of going out of my house if Shouto's not the one that invited me to hang out?

What's the point of living if Shouto's dead?

I pushed all of my friends away. I didn't want them to get hurt by me, by the decision I made. They tried to contact me and even visited me, but I locked myself in my bedroom. I barely ate, barely drank. last time I properly did anything felt like forever ago. My parents even called the therapist to help me, I talked to him once. Well, if saying blunt words and shaking your head in agreetment or disagreetment counts as talking, then I can say I did talk to him.

I gave up on everything in life. I tried to move on, I really did. I just couldn't. I can't imagine my life without Shouto in it. So now I'm going to end it.

I promised Shouto that whenever we are apart, I'll always be with him in spirit. Because wherever he goes, my soul will go with him.

So here is my last message to him.

Todoroki Shouto, I love you. I will always and undoubtedly be yours.

When I consider the way you impacted my life, I find myself in utter disbelief. You made me the way I am today.

Thank you for loving me the way I am, for loving my always anxious, sarcastic soul. When I was with you, I felt like I don't have to be afraid to show my true being. I never felt like I could be myself in front of anyone before, but with you... it was different. You saw something in me that made you think I was special and that's why I was falling in love with you every single day even more.

From the day when you said I'm interesting, to the first "I love you" I knew you are going to be the most important person to me.

I think I've told you this like a hundred times, but I want to make sure you know - you made me the happiest person in the world. No one had the ability or held over me to invoke the emotions you did. The time I've spent with you was the best time of my life. I cherished every moment we've had togheter. When you left, I couldn't stop replaying the memories we created over and over in my head - our first kiss on the snowy night or when we spent the most amazing end of the year. It all feels like an absolute bliss.

I took a deep breath and shouted, so that everyone would hear me.

"Todoroki Shouto, I love you!"

I looked down to the ground again and saw some people pointing at me and screaming something but I ignored them. I already made my decision and I didn't care about anything. All I cared about was Shouto. the only person that I ever cared about was taken away from me.

I took out my phone and wrote a message that I then sent to every person on my contact list.

"I'm sorry. [your initials]."

When the messages sent, I threw my phone on the ground and it crushed into milion pieces.

I sighed and looked at the world surrounding me for the last time. I grabbed my necklace that he gave me and kissed it.

'See you soon, Shouto.' I whispered. I closed my eyes and let my body fall down.

Now I could be with my one and only forever.