May the Forth be with you

Chapter Force... er, Fourth

Everything was a blur as Elizabeth stood on the porch screaming at the person on the other end of the phone, but Jason couldn't help but find solace that it wasn't at him for once.

Their venue had changed three times and for some reason, unbeknownst to her, no one had any rooms available for such a large wedding.

"Just make it smaller," he sighed with exasperation. But it was the wrong thing to say. What made it worse was that she became more and more upset as their day approached and his comment cemented his place on her shit list.

"I am planning OUR wedding all by MYSELF." She sneered one harried day and Jason recoiled in shock at her tone, but couldn't dispute it. She was planning everything herself and it had nothing to do with him. He was a fixture at the end of the aisle that could have been easily replaced by anyone.

He hated everything about it and was beginning to loathe her.

The periwinkle and teal colored linens she was arguing about were also her idea as they were a perfect contrast to the China she chose and would make the flowered centerpieces pop.

The food: chicken and seafood, would be placed all at once with a server every two guests that would cater to any whim they may need. There were other courses, but that was one he was adamant about once the red meat item was vetoed.

"Perhaps my fiancé can sway you with a donation." She spat with a sneer and Jason stiffened, eyes darting to her in a glare. Money was being syphoned quicker than he could make it, and he knew that he would be paying for the wedding for years to come.

"I'm not making any sizable donation," he huffed but she just cupped the phone with her hand to buffer his voice and winked at him.

"I wanted May the fourth, and I realize it's short notice and there are a lot of weirdos trying to marry on that day, but believe me, I am not one of them."

Jason rose from his seat and went upstairs to take a shower and turned on the water to get it hot. He took a long look at himself and started to pull at the dark circles under his eye.

"Sorry," Elizabeth breathed out as she came into the room. "We may have to choose another day. I swear the universe is conspiring against me. Every venue says their booked solid which is ridiculous. I'm thinking about moving the wedding to my parents' house at this point."

"I'm not sure how much more I can take of this, Elizabeth. This isn't how I envisioned our wedding, let alone our future."

"I'm doing the best I can to make it the best wedding possible." She spat.

"What about the money going into it? I'm not working the next twenty years to pay for it."

Elizabeth acted as if she had been slapped. "It's my dream wedding, Jason."

He shrugged. "Think of our children, their future."

"There's no plans for children right now," she scoffed. "I have to concentrate on my work, then maybe children in the distant future. That's why I said family planning."

"I want children sooner rather than later." His heart was beating rapidly and he wondered how much different they really were and if he had just ignored all of it for the sake to have a pretty girl on his arm and not be alone. "Do you love me?"

"Oh, of course." But her nose rose minutely in distaste.

"Say it." He countered. "Tell me that you love me, adore me, want to be with me... tell me. Because I don't recall you ever saying it."

"I say it," she sneered, deflecting.

"I just want- no... need to hear it from you right now."

The hot mist from the spitting shower drifted ominously above them as he watched his fiancé's face carefully.

"I love you. I adore you. I want to be with you. Happy?" She said, but her eyes were vacant. She made no move to cuddle up to him, no move to wrap her arms around him and listen to his heart. There were no hands rubbing his back as he opened the delicate handkerchief that held a wish.

How can one moment, one day with someone change the course of a whole life? How can one choose love and contentment compared to a life without?

"Just not enough." He whispered.

Her eyes darted from his to the door as if she was thinking about escaping.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She sighed. "Do you want out?"

"You're in love with a fantasy. Not me."

"That wasn't what I asked."

The sound of the shower was loud in his ears as both remained silent and watching each other.

It should be an easy answer. It should be an easy "Yes" where they come together with wild abandonment, bleary eyed and wanting. But it was never like that with Elizabeth.

Ever.

Nor would it ever be like that.

He knew it, too.

He couldn't help but think of that night with Leigh.

"You want to know what I want? For once, I want both of us to be free to find the one we're passionate about, the one that there is no question because they are 'it' for them."

"It doesn't exist!" She hissed, rushing to the shower and finally turning it off. The mist billowed from her movement as the nozzle sputtered out the last drops of hot water. "All that exists is this, what we have-"

"No," he shook his head. "I know that's not all there is-"

"You have someone else?" She screamed.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," Jason glared as he took a step closer to her. "Anyway, you have too, felt something more, and you are settling." He couldn't help the words and even though he didn't dispute her claims he knew he could be wrong with his own.

She stood silently, not even moving as she glared at him for what seemed like an obscene amount of time.

"We'll talk after we both calm down."

Elizabeth went into the bedroom, grabbed her cat from off his pillow, and left.