May the Forth be with you

Chapter Three

"This is Bailey,"

Silence at the other end of the phone piqued her interest and made her grin.

"Cat couldn't have got your tongue because I know you're not getting any."

"Must you always be so crass?"

"I can't help it if your wife-to-be felt the need to express to the class that you are not getting laid."

"She didn't."

"Bachelorette party. There are quite a few male strippers who know as well, so there's that."

Jason shook his head, pinching his eyes shut. "You went to the bachelorette party?"

"So did Leigh. Hella awkward when your wife-to-be is telling your conquest that you sleep in separate rooms. Also, she pretends to snore until you leave so she can get it on with her toy-"

"No-"

"Yep. It has a name and everything."

"What happened at the club?"

"So, there's this huge stripper guy, Mr. Universe, and he's got these ridiculous batman boyshorts on. I don't think she realized what she was doing or saying, because she was pretty lit up." Bailey scoffed over the phone. She enjoyed ruffling feathers, especially when feathers needed ruffling. Watching two people she loved wallowing in misery was no fun for her. "So he's off doing his little dance, thrusting to the music and she's giving off this batman call signal, which is actually just a flashlight that someone just drew on the symbol, poorly, but it works nonetheless and he comes over, all roidy and delicious and grabs her up, flips her upside down and starts grinding himself on her face and head. Mind you, I said roidy, so there is not much to grind with but he's giving it all he's got."

"I get the point." Jason could feel his blood pressure rising.

"Don't worry, your girl just barely managed to keep it in her pants but not before expressing her frustration at the situation at home. I had no idea you were sleeping in separate rooms, cousin. Is it to add celibacy before the wedding night romance thing?"

"She snores and the cat steals my side of the bed. I'm allergic to her cat yet she still lets her lay on my pillow so I move into the other room."

"Neither puss likes you in your own house. Classic." Bailey snickered though Jason couldn't see her. "Don't fret, married life will be worse, I'm sure. Anyway, Leigh bought your wife-to-be a lap dance so that was fun."

"She didn't."

"Oh, yes. There were plenty of firemen to hose that girl down! HA! Leigh did it to make up for sleeping with you, which Elizabeth knows all about, by the way. Don't worry, Elizabeth is okay with it. The way she was looking at Leigh, though, makes one wonder."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that your girl had a wandering eye on anything that moved  and there was a lot of moving that night."

Jason's heart was in his throat.

"So, yeah." Bailey sighed. "Just be careful with marrying that one."

"Bailey-"

"Shhh, not another word. Look.. I got you a present. I had Leigh bring it into work. Go ask her for the package."

"This feels like a trap."

"It's a trap!" Bailey mimicked, hanging up the phone.

Jason rose from his desk, secretly delighted that he had a reason to go converse with Leigh; completely trying to rid himself of how the conversation must have went on how Elizabeth knows about his relations with Leigh.