The list

Just one last step

After hours and hours of planing Vanessa had finally made an arrangement of flowers for the grave. She had gotten the last of the white and pink roses , orange and pink orchids and small wild flowers. She had spent all night arranging and re arranging the flowers u till they sat perfectly in the little box that she had gotten from the florist.

*****

The next morning Alice woke up off of her silk pillow that Lana had gotten a few years ago. It was starting to get a hole in it but since the tragedy Vanessa couldn't get the heart to throw it away.

Alice walked over to Vanessa's limp body on the floor. After finishing the amazing arrangement of flours she had passed out on the floor some time around four in the morning. Alice started sniffing Vanessa's face and licking her nose until she shot awake.

" Alice! You scared the living daylight out of me!" Vanessa exclaimed while petting the golden retrievers head. She yawned slightly still in her leggings and sweater from the day before. The sun was already out and shining brightly witch was odd for a winter day. It light up the cocoa coloured paint in the room making it look like a dark gold colour. The small couch to the left side if her has a single strip of sun shining onto it , making the fabric glow. Vanessa usually loves these kinds of days , but a feeling of dread and depression hung over the house Enveloping everything in a vail of gloom.

Vanessa slowly got up off of the dark hardwood floor , her back stiff from the inconvenient sleeping conditions. She staggered her way to the bedroom looking at the clock that sat on her bed side table . It was already past noon and the funeral was to start at two o'clock She sighed to herself . It was all happening so fast , like the world was in fast forward. She thought to herself as she sat onto her bed .

After sitting on the bed for a good ten minutes she heard a knock on the door witch made her snap out of her daydream. She slowly got up and walked to the door looking threw the peep hole to see two warm brown eyes staring. Ack at her. She smiled opening up the door " Rubin !" She exclaimed opening her arms to hug her boyfriend of two years robin jones , the high school jock. He looked at her a serious look on his face . One thing that she knew about Rubin is that when he was serious , he was dead serious.

" hello Vanessa." He said simply making shivers run down her spin. She looked at him quizzically

"Rubin what's wrong? " she asked him . He forcefully walked into the apartment shoving her to the side

"Vanessa you haven't been acting the same ever since Lisa dropped dead in her room ." He spat harshly . Vanessa bit her lip fighting back tears. She hadn't ever thought about it in that way. It really brought some perspective to what was going on. Lisa was gone and she wasn't coming back .

" w-what do you mean Rubin ?" She asked a tear slipping down her flushed cheeks.

" I've called you non stop and you haven't picked up. I was late to practice because you didn't pick me up yesterday. I had to get Ben to drive me! You know how annoying he is?! Don't even get me started on what coach said when I got there ten minutes late !!" He yelled making Vanessa flinch . She had forgotten to pick him up when she got the flowers for Lisa's funeral .

"Rubin I-I'm sorry , I forgot last night . I-I was s-shopping for Lisa's funeral. " she explained . Tears now running freely down her face. His expression didn't change at all. He stood in the middle of her living room towering over her by at least three inches.

" oh you 'forgot' did you ? I guess your dead friend is more important than your EX boyfriend ?" He hissed crossing his arms and looking down at the small figure of the young girl. A rock hard expression on his face. Vanessa gasped at his comment.

" a-are you breaking u-up with m-me?" She asked in a hushed voice , barley above a whisper. He nodded his abnormally small head , flexing his muscles slightly.

" yes Vanessa I am. I need someone who will be there for me and take care of me, plus let's face it I was only dating you because I felt bad. A girl like you could only dream about dating a guy like me." He said grabbing her jaw in his hands for fully. Vanessa's eyes narrowed as she backed away from him, swatting his hand away.

" you know what ! . Fine ! Just go back to that little b**** that you call a 'friend'. Did you really think I'm that that stupid ? Your nothing but a filler in a space that happened that to be free!!!!" She screamed at him poking him in the chest with her skinny index finger making him back out of her apartment slowly. His expression changed to surprised as he backed into the hallway.

" your gonna miss me Vanessa ." He said trying to regain some of his dignity. He straightened up his back standing in the hall feeling smaller than when he came to the apartment .

" guess what Rubin? I don't care , have a nice day " she said before closing the door and siding down the to the hardwood floor that she slept on. She started sobbing into her hands. How did she not see this coming ? She thought to herself as she pulled on her hair. This day was not off to a good start. At least not for her.

*******

After a nice long shower with more tears than water she stepped into her bathroom whipping away the mist from the mirror. She sighed seeing a bruise on her jaw from when Rubin grabbed her , it never occurred to her that Rubin was such an a** . At least he was out if the picture for good. Why do girls even date? Boys are just a bunch of idiots that break your heart. She thought shaking her head .

She walked into her room letting the towel fall to the floor as she got dressed in her white lace dress , slipping the soft fabric over her head letting it fall loosely into her body catching on her hips and falling to mid thigh. She sighed looking into the mirror , at her smal curves and pale completion . She never really was the girl who had the best body , but it wasn't the worst with a small layer of cushioning around her mid section and almost a thigh gap but not quite . She was always mad fun of as a kid for being fat witch brought her to an eating disorder . She ran a hand threw her hair thinking  about how much Lisa and her use to fight about it , if she could go back she wouldn't have done it . It was the worst decision of her life.

The door swung open to her room as mrs. Norse walked into the room .

" oh darling you look so beautiful ." She said walking over to the young girl grabbing Vanessa's pale hands in her own old and wrinkled ones. A smile spread wide across her face .

" thanks mrs. Norse , but I'm not sure if I should go . It looks like it might rain ." She said trying to get out of the funeral , making a horrible lie wasn't going to pass for mrs. Norse especially in this situation.

" the sun is shinning and it's winter Hun , I think we'll be good" she said chuckling and lifting Vanessa's chin with her fingers looking at the brown spot on her jaw. Her brows furrowed slightly examining it.

" what's this honey ? Did you walk into the door again?"she asked letting the hands drop to her side looking into the girls blue eyes worriedly . Vanessa shook her head a tear running down her chin.

"N-no...... Rubin broke up with me" she said solemnly feeling the hurt sting in her hear. Mrs. Norse crossed her arms strictly .

" did you give him a good slap at least ?" She asked taking a step back on the hard wood floor. Vanessa shook her head looking at the elder lady in her room quizzically.

" no you said never to hit anyone " she said sitting on the bed. Mrs. Norse nodded holding her finger up .

" yes , but if it's a man who hit you you have the right to knee him right in the problem area . Have I taught you nothing" she said sitting next To her. Vanessa chuckled wiping away her tears .

" yeah you have , thanks for everything you've done for me and Lisa. I know that she really appreciated it ." She said smiling and hugging mrs. Norse's bony figure . Mrs. Norse laughed breathily into Vanessa's ear.

" any time my dear " she said hugging back tightly trying to squeeze out all the pain out of Vanessa's frail , skinny little body.