Long Gone

Chapter 13

~~Whitney's POV~~

I may have been drunk last night but Lia and I getting into that....well bashing.....I sobered up pretty damn quick.  I remembered everything she said and I can see everything she had done.  I can't believe she wanted to talk to me when I stopped by the house this morning.  I knew last night there was no way I'd be going home, which was bullshit because it was MY house.  I stayed at Ed's last night which is where I was planning on staying again tonight.  I grabbed my overnight bag, that I always had packed for when I would go stay at Gordon's, so I didn't stay in my house longer than I needed.  Before I went back over to Ed's though, there was somewhere else I needed to go. 

I drove to a nearby flower shop and picked up 4 red roses.  I climbed back in my truck and made a 35 minute drive to my worst favorite place.  I parked my Hummer in the space I usually parked in that never seemed to be taken even on days when someone was being buried.  Like today. 

I walked my regular 187 steps over the misty grass to the 4 headstones that were engraved with my mother, father, and grandparents names.  I stood there in silence for a while just staring at them.  I finally came to and grabbed the wilted roses that lay in front of each stone.  As I picked one up I'd replace it with the new one.  I took the old flowers to a nearby trash which is where I seen the burial that was in progress.  My heart sank seeing a small casket being lowered in the ground.  I lowered my head in respect before going back and taking a seat in front of my parents and grandparents. 

I thought of all the wonderful memories I had with them while I sat there. 

"I miss you guys so much.  There's so much going on and I have no one to go to.  My friends have all changed, Gordon left...." I said quietly trailing off.  I felt the sting of tears lining my eyes, so I tilted my head back so they wouldn't spill out.  When the burn finally went away I dropped my head.

"You aren't supposed to be gone yet.  You haven't seen me grow up.  You never got to be grandparents and great grandparents.  Why couldn't you just stay home that day.  And why couldn't you guys just retire," I said getting mad at the thought of how they died. 

They were all way too young to die.  My parents only in their 30's and my grandparents only in their 50's.  I was getting upset at this point and the tears came back.  I felt so abandoned now and I couldn't hold back the tears this time.  I heard the bagpipe play in the distance from the other burial and I froze getting lost in the thoughts of when I heard the bagpipes...

"We're gathered here today not to mourn the loss of 2 people but to be reminded of the amazing people they were, and the memories and lessons they left behind," the preacher said.  I sat in the very back of the church with my head down and arms folded.  I wanted to scream because they left me.  I had just turned 17 and my parents were dead.  After the funeral it was time for the burial.  I rode in the limo with my grandparents. 

"You doing ok Jellybean?" my grandpa asked putting his arm over my shoulder.  I shrugged not being able to speak and he just gave my shoulder a squeeze. 

Once we got to the cemetery it was pouring rain.  Fitting weather for a day like this.  The preacher said a few more words before asking if anyone would like to place flowers on the caskets before lowering them.

"You want to go put a rose on each casket hunny?" my grandma asked handing me 2 red roses.  I stepped forward and placed 1 rose in the middle of my mothers then turning and doing the same thing for my fathers.  I stayed in that spot as they lowered down the caskets.  Little did I know then that in a year and a half I'd be standing here again lowering my grandparents into the ground as well.