How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel raised each other (and Sam)

Chapter 16- The First Last Year

AN: Starts 6 Weeks After Previous Chapter

May

Knees in the mud, arms locked tight around Dean’s midsection, forehead pressed to Dean’s. The body pressed to his shook violently, vibrating at the same frequency as his own.

“Why?” He pleaded in the small space between them. “Why, when you knew what it would mean?”

“For Sammy.” Dean choked out, fingers digging into Castiel’s thighs to leave muddy trails on his jeans.

“Sam would tell you that he wasn’t worth the price.” Castiel wanted to press Dean close enough to swallow him whole, to protect him from his own terrible choice.

“The world or Sam?” Dean held on tighter. “Not even a decision.”

“It won’t come to that.”

They’d had six weeks. Six good weeks working towards each other and ironing out the layers of emotion between them. Dean had been taking his time, both for himself and for Castiel. The anticipation had been sweet.

Then John had called, the story of the Colt tumbling out in a terrible confusion. Dean and Sam had hared out, leaving Castiel to keep the homefires burning. What followed would never be clear to him and he regretted every day that he hadn’t fought harder to go with them.

All he knew was that Sam had been taken, survived only to be stabbed in the back and Dean had made the deal. As if scenting the demon in the very air, Castiel had gone to the crossroads at first on foot and then hitchhiking to find the spot. Too late. He arrived to see obscene lips pressed to the ones that had so recently kissed Castiel so sweetly.

Castiel clung on to Dean, unwilling to stand just yet and face the enormity of what was to come.

June

“You’re a damn fool.” Said Bobby, cuffing Dean upside the head then pulling him into a hard hug.

“You looked after your brother, can’t really ask much more of you than that.” Said John and Castiel bit into the cuticle hanging off his thumb, peeling it away until it bled. “I would have done the same.”

“Don’t look at me.” Said Gabriel, rifling through a counter display of pocket astrology books. “You got yourself into it, you get yourself out of it.

“Ok.” Said Sam, looking Dean over with weary resignation. “Ok. Let’s fix this.”

July

Castiel and Sam lost July to research. It piled up around them in teetering fortresses, books, scrolls and tense fruitless notes. All too often they fell asleep at the table in the back of the store, unwilling to give a spare moment to anything else.

“Here’s the thing,” Gabriel popped into existence, sitting on the edge of the table his feet swinging a little in the air. Castiel’s pen went flying as he started in surprise.

“Don’t do that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. Sam had gone to get them something to eat though Castiel couldn’t say for sure what meal it was intended for. Dinner, he supposed though he couldn’t recall lunch or breakfast. Or dinner the day before.

“Maybe if you didn’t drink two pots of coffee a day, you wouldn’t be so twitchy.” Gabriel advised, picking up a few books and thumbing through the first one.

“What’s the thing?” Castiel asked impatiently.

“What thing?”

“You said: ‘here’s the thing’.”