Friendzone (Jade Thirlwall and Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

[Jade]

This it. Summer started. Weeks have passed and I'm dying already not seeing him for days. But I have to stay strong. I need to forget about him. He's not even thinking of me so why should I? Besides, he is just distracting me from things I do. I can't stand these feelings anymore I want it all gone. I think I am really just too young for love, and this one isn't what you really be for me and it's just a phase. This is just a phase, Jade.

But you know what I hate about myself? I want to get over with him but I keep on checking his social media accounts like what the hell is wrong with me? How hard I try to not typing his name on the search engine, I always end up typing it. Ugh, I hate myself.

But I know I will just laugh at this some day, some puppy high school love. Ugh,  irritating. I decided to go out to reflect about myself, I just want to be alone right now. I am such a fool for him.

What did I saw at him that I like him that much?

He's just a tall guy. Tall, smart guy. Yup, that's all. Nothing special to like him that damn much. What did I like about him, anyway? He's just another tall guy. A tall guy with dimples. Dimples getting deeper whenever he smiles. A tall guy with green eyes. Emerald green eyes that all girls in school fall for. Green eyes and those dimples together with nice shaped lips that whenever he smiles, he makes the atmosphere light. His smile that can be a sunshine because of how warming his smile is. The way he laughs with little things makes him cute. The times he is serious, you would be scared to talk to him. He is just naturally cool. Whenever he is around his friends, he is not the friend who kills the mood. He would just go with the flow. When his eyes smiles at you, you can't help but smile too. When he tells his lame jokes you'll just laugh not because of his joke but because of him. How he brings the topic, how he delivers everything and you'll just laugh of how weird he is.

Wait, what? No, Jade! No! Here we go again.

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe it's just really me.

Maybe I am the problem.

Sometimes, we do get over and move on from things and we just keep flashing back memories and stuff well in fact that you are over it but you think you aren't. Sometimes, we just fool ourselves. Sometimes, we did move on. Heart is not always stupid. Mind it is. Our minds fools us. Sometimes, we create our own demons, hell, and paradise. There would be times that you you can't get over of your feelings but your mind is telling you to move on. But sometimes there would be moments that our hearts moved on but we think we aren't. We are thinking we are still not over while our heart is okay. I think I should think about the difference between feelings and just-thinking-about-him. But you know what I should really do?

I should apply these to myself. Ugh, feelings get away!

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Author's Note

An update, yaaay! You could listen to the music in the side while reading this. :) sorry for the late update. Going to update real soon! Sorry for this late, short chapter. Have a nice day, beautiful people!

-Leian x