Saviour of Ashes

Chapter 16

Aelin warned Rowan that she would burn anyone that followed her. She needed to be alone. She needed to...

She didn't know what she needed.

Aelin twisted the golden doorknob. The wooden frame still decorated with flowery carvings. The door creaked open to reveal the green-carpeted foyer. Aelin sucked in her breath.

It looks the same.

Aelin looked round her old rooms. The moonlight shining through the balcony window. The round wooden table in the middle of the foyer still had her own name carved into it next to Aedion's. She ran her scarred hand over it. The bookcase was still filled with her old children's books. The Faerie Princess used to be her favourite. It had been about a strong fae princess who fell in love and overcame many obstacles to have her happy ending.

Aelin chose to open the door to her bathroom first. The room still had the same dark wooden floorboards that dipped in the right corner. The marble bath was gleaming from where it had been cleaned. Fresh wash cloths had been laid over the edge.

Aelin crossed the foyer and took a deep breath. She entered her old bedroom. Her massive bed - a King's bed, Aedion used to say - now didn't seem as big as it had done when she was eight years old. Especially since she would be sharing it with Rowan. Aelin huffed a laugh. The last time she had been in that bed she had been worried about controlling her magic, never dreaming she'd be sleeping in it with her husband - her mate.

The covers used to be pink and white and frilly but now... One of the servants had covered the bed in white, silver, and green.  Aelin turned to the dressing table. The gold mirror was covered in dust. Her hairbrush was still where Marion had left it, next to the half-empty bottles of perfume. Aelin's tiny silver tiara sat lazily thrown on the glass top. The diamonds sparkled in the dark. She had tossed it there when she had been rushed to her rooms after Dorian's father had planted that...worm into her head.

Feeling suffocated, Aelin left her bedroom, closing the door behind her and headed into her dressing room.

New gowns and clothing, shoes, boots, and other accessories had been placed at the front, but as Aelin moved further into the room she found her childhood gowns. Just as Aelin was about to reach for a gown, she heard a knock at her door.

She marched into the foyer and growled, "What?"

Lord Darrow's head looked round the door before he stepped in. Aelin straightened.

"Didn't my mate make it clear that I would burn anyone who disturbed me?" Aelin questioned.

"You promised you wouldn't burn me," Darrow said, his hand resting on his sword. "Or did that mean nothing."

"I have kept all of my promises, Darrow." Aelin frowned. "You have disrespected me by ignoring my orders, not referring to me as Your Majesty, and further more you are in my private chambers with the threat of attacking me, however foolish." Darrow's face reddened. "Unless you have decided to try to kill me, Darrow, I suggest removing your hand from your sword. Or better yet, leaving it outside."

He let his hand drop. "An old male like me wouldn't be able to get past your assassin's training. Once, long ago, maybe. But now..." He shook his head.

"Why are you in my chambers, Darrow?" Aelin raised her brows.

"I thought you could use someone to talk to," he waited then added, "Your Majesty." He sat down in one of the quilted chairs. "Also, you promised you wouldn't kill me."

Aelin sat opposite him. "True...but if you ever enter my private chambers again, my mate will."

Darrow frowned. "It wouldn't matter anyway," he muttered. "I am fading..."

Aelin placed a hand on the table. "It's because you lost your mate, isn't it?"

Darrow nodded. "Orlon was... He..."

"Made you want to live," Aelin finished for him.

He looked at her, really looked at her. "Ansel of Briarcliff informed me how you had never forgotten Terrasen. You were just...surviving until you were ready - until you thought we needed you."

"I didn't think I was cut out to be Queen. Everyone I loved was killed because I loved them. I killed others as I grew up, paid off my debts." Only at one point was she going to give up the kingdom and that had been with Sam. He had been the only one at the time who made her dream of being a normal girl. Looking back, Aelin realised that that life wasn't for her. She wanted adventure...her own stories to tell. "Then I got sent to Endovier and witnessed it first hand. I thought it wouldn't make a difference if I became Queen. The whole world needed saving.  Then the dead King of Adarlan gave me a four year contract of working for him before I was free to do anything."

"Your story is long one, indeed," Darrow inclined his head. "You had gone from one set of shackles to the next. Who would want to be stuck to an entire kingdom if they had never had the chance to be free."

He understands, Aelin realised. He had misjudged her out of his own grief, of the rumours he heard about her.

"Orlon...he was the same," he fought a smile rising on his lips. "Dreaming about freedom from his responsibilities and then... Then he found his place in this kingdom, in this world. As have you, as it seems."

Aelin nodded. She hugged her tiny bump. "At least I will be an interesting and memorable royal."

Darrow laughed. "And so will your little one."

"How many Lords wish to destroy my child before it is even born?" Aelin quizzed him, the amusement dying.

"Only three," Darrow leant forward. "Not including myself. I have complete faith in you, Majesty, that after defeating one monster, you will be prepared to rid Terrasen of a monster you will create."

Aelin shot up out of her chair. "You're the monster, Lord Darrow." She glared at the man. "Just when I thought you understood me."

"I understand you, Majesty. I accept what you have done for Terrasen. But...I am scared of what you will do to Terrasen in the future." Darrow showed her his palms. "What if you burn down Orynth just giving birth?"

"Then I will build us all a new home," Aelin cracked her knuckles.

"After seeing how wild your power was and now that you have learnt to control it, and after seeing you fight for Terrasen and your place as Queen... I accept you as the rightful Queen, and I believe that your heir will learn to master their own powers," Darrow explained.

"Then what frightens you, Darrow?" Aelin demanded, her boiling rage making her pant.

"What if your heir is so powerful that they decide to conquer Erelia?"

"Then Terrasen should be proud of what a mighty ruler they have," Aelin growled. "I would bring my child up as a kind ruler. They would not repeat the mistakes of Adarlan or even that bitch, Maeve." Aelin swore.

"I want to be your advisor, Majesty... I want to help ensure that your heir is safe and not a threat to you, themselves, or Terrasen," Darrow said.

"You..You..." Aelin couldn't breathe. "You want to bring up my child?"

Darrow nodded. "And make me your heir if you were to die during your Settlement or giving birth to your child."

Aelin dug her nails into her own arm. She couldn't hit him. Not until she had her coronation. Aelin flung open the balcony doors and looked out into the gardens below. She leant on the railings. Rowan stood with Fenrys, Lorcan and Gavriel outside. They were talking about some old battle they had fought together.

Aelin couldn't catch her breath. Her knees gave up and she sank onto the balcony's stone floor. She clutched her bump. She would protect it. She would keep it safe. She would live to see it grow up. She would teach it to be a good, noble ruler.

There were shouts from the gardens below. Aelin's head spun.

Queen.

Mother.

Monster.