Secrets and Lies {Badlands and Crybaby ➛ sisters}

7 || I knew it

Halsey's POV

I knew it. I already knew this was going to happen. Another sob breaks out and I feel the tears drowning me. I wipe my tears harshly as I remember what they said for the last time.

"I'll tell you who I like if you tell me who you like.", Mel says.

"On the count of three okay?" Vessel tells her.

"Okay"

"Three",

"Two",

"One",

"YOU", they both shout.

Then I ran. I can here them laughing and kissing from here.

That's how I ended up here in my room, sobbing unconditionally. I knew I shouldn't let this bother me I mean Vessel likes her right? Obviously. How can i ever think that Vessel will like me? I'm a freak.

I get up and stare at the blades in my drawer. I take one out. I can do this. No one needs me right? It's so obvious. Mel, I love you but I have to do this. I'm sorry. Should I write them a letter? Yeah, that'll be better.

I ended up writing 4 short letters. One to my mom. One to Mel. One to Vessel. And the last one for the squad.

Mom

I love you. This is no one's fault but me. I know you're disappointed but remember when I told you I don't want to marry a man and you asked if I'm a lesbian? No, I'm not a lesbian but I'm a homosexual or in other words a bisexual person. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you.

~Badlands

Mel

I love you so much sis. You helped me through thick and thin. None of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself. I'm sorry for everything.

~Hals C;

Vessel

I hope your happy with Mels! Please make her happy for me when I'm not there. I'm sorry for admitting this but I did like you. Or love I don't know... But thanks for everything and don't worry because none of this is either one of your faults.

~Badlands

Squad

I love you all and don't worry about me. This is none of your faults. This world is so damned. Ik i should've been stronger but sorry for everything. None of this is your faults. You know I love you all right? But yeah. I know y'all don't know my secrets but I'll tell you guys some stuff. I'm a bi. It was hard to reveal. Sorry.

~Badlands ;)

I seal the envelopes and leave them on my desk. Then I grab my blade and head to the bathroom. I lock myself in and remember everything.

Why is this world so damned?

I turn the water on the bath.

Why am I the unlucky one?

I get inside the water.

Why am I the hated one?

I pull my sleeves up and reveal my bare arms. I pull the blade to my wrist.

Why is everything so unfair?

I make a few cut marks and let it flow into the water.

Why does everything feel so hard on my shoulders?

I close my arms and make a deep cut on my wrist drawing out a lot of blood that starts to stain the water a deep red color.

Why doesn't anyone love me?

I make another deep cut as a sob comes out of my mouth.

Why is this such a dark place?

I remember my demons and place more cuts on my arms, making sure to draw out a lot of blood.

WHY WAS I BORN?

I make more cuts as black dots start appearing in my vision.

Why am I ugly?

I cut myself hard again as I cry and my vision starts to blur.

Why am I fat?

I cut myself more thrusting out so much blood. I look at the dark red color in the tub as my vision blurs and tears flow out of my eyes.

Why am I stupid?

I cry and drop the blade. I feel myself dying slowly.

Yes, just what I wanted. I'm a nobody anyways.

Then the darkness devours me.

"The only thing you won't live to regret is suicide"~ ♡♡
don't do it guys.

:O

SHoCking?!! SOrry for the late update. I'll try to update more.

Written by: BrokenLife17

Edited by: No One.