T O X I C

11: West

I am the first to wake up and it’s odd to see others sleeping. Violet slightly drools in her sleep, and I can’t help but to laugh to myself. I toss a handkerchief at her face, and she twitches slightly. A smile spreads on my face at her peacefully sleeping, but as much as I want to smile, I can’t. The feeling of being a traitor weighs me down. I wait until everyone else is awake to propose an idea. “We should go back, I think.”

“Why?” Violet says, rubbing her eyes and stretching.

“Well… I’m not exactly supposed to be out past midnight.” I say.

“What, big boy West has a curfew?” Bry teases. I smile at her.

“You could say that.”

We all get ready to head back to the pile of rubble, Violet helping me up again. Not physically, but mentally. I kind of admire the way she can push past her emotions so she can do what she needs to do when she needs to do it. I know I couldn’t do it without her coaching me from the side.

“Just ignore it, just ignore it.” She says. She goes behind me this time. “It’s not logical to have a fear, you know. Well, I said that wrong. Just keep going no matter how scared you are.”

Going down is always the hardest.

“Keep your eyes on where you’re going to step next,” she suggests. This time, she goes first. I step wherever she steps, specifically on rocks and anything that isn’t fragile. “focus on what you’re stepping on, not how many more things you have to step on until you’re at the bottom.”

“Where is Mr. Rule?” I hear people call from my left when we reach the ground. I see Bry and Axios ahead, leaning around a house and peeking down the street. They turn around and come running back to us, Axios grabbing Violet by the arm and leading her behind all of the houses. Bry does the same to me, but she does it gently, taking my hand and guiding me behind her.

“I don’t know; he’s missing.” I hear someone else reply.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Shh!” Axios snaps. His eyes scavenge along the pile of rubble, looking desperately for something. He kicks some of the rubble and keeps moving. “I can’t find it.” He whispers to Violet.

“Can’t find what?” She asks, then paws at his hand. “You’re hurting my arm.”

He immediately let’s go. “Sorry.”

Axios is weird. To me, he’s like Violet’s puppy but at the same time he’s a full grown dog. If he hurts her in any way, he has this puppy dog face that I feel like he uses to manipulate her, and then whenever he wants something he goes rabid-dog mode. It’s bittersweet because it works and it’s evil, but at the same time I applaud him for being clever enough to use someone’s most vulnerable part of herself against them: their mind.

Finally, Axios kicks his foot through dirt and stone, which leads into a small but wide hole that is tall enough for a person if they crouch, and it lit by small torches. It leads down into a small hidey-hole-like thing, and Violet gasps and closes her eyes. She curses under her breath, and takes hold of the back of Axios’s shirt.

“It’s okay.” Axios says. “There are seven steps. Ready?”

“Ready.” Violet replies weakly. I’ve never seen violet so vulnerable, so weak, so… Fearful. “Wait, no! Let them go first please,”

“Violet-”

“Let them go first.” She gives Axios a death glare, and he let’s Bry and I go by.

I watch as Axios and Violet come down the stairs, Violet nearly crying with each step. I don’t know if she’s claustrophobic or afraid of the dark, but either way - she’s about to pass out. She stops altogether and falls into Axios’s arms. That’s why I don’t bottle my emotions. When they come out to play, you have to finish the game. You can’t change the rules halfway through.

Axios comes to the bottom of the stairs and sets Violet down on the floor, then glaces to me. “Can you fix her?”

“What?”

“You’re a Magickan. Some can heal people. Can you?”

“She’s not sick or anything,” I tell him. “even if I could heal her, it wouldn’t work. We heal physical injuries.”

Axios bites his lip and then bends over her face and tries to wake her up. “Come on, Vi. It’s okay, we’re here now. Come on, wake up. Wake up!” His voice goes from comforting to terrified within seconds. He turns back to me. “You can’t do anything?”

I shake my head and he looks to Bry, who does the same. Axios slams his fist on the ground and screams. He stands up quickly and tugs at his hair, breathing, trying to calm down. I back up and line my spine with the wall to give him some room. He starts talking to himself, “It’s all my fault. I’m not supposed to touch her.”

“What?” Bry asks. I’m glad this isn’t another inside joke or something.

“Violet, she feels emotions even when she’s not touching you,” Axios is mumbling and making most of this hard to hear, so I have to strain to pick anything up. “and if you have strong emotions, and she has strong emotions, and then you collide… It must be too much to handle…”

“What emotion were you feeling?” I ask. I feel like I’m invading his privacy, and he probably does too because he gives me an ‘Excuse me?’ look, but I feel that it is necessary. “I mean, I know she was already about to pass out because she was so scared.”

He nods his head. “I was… A lot of things. And then I grabbed her arm and I was going to try and pick her up because I just wanted to help her and I forgot and-”

“Axios.” Bry says. He stops and looks at her. Bry walks over to him and hugs him, whispering, “It’s not your fault. She’ll wake up.”

Axios pulls away as soon as she’s done talking and kneels next to Violet again. “I wish I could be as strong as her.”

“We all do.” I add.

At first, he looks angry, but when I keep eye contact with him I notice that his eyes transition gradually from angry to understanding. I like this group of people. I never thought I would be betraying my own city and race for some people who hardly know anything but how to survive. I think I have them figured out: Axios reads Violet’s mind but no one else’s, Violet feels strong emotions, and Bry is gorgeous. And a good kisser. The hole we’re in is dark, lit by small torches mounted on the dirt walls.

“What is this place?” I ask. “I’ve never seen it.”

“Hmm. I figured you would know.” Axios retaliates. “I found it when I was on a midnight walk.” He’s on to me. I decide to change the subject back to something he can’t resist: Violet.

“So, when will she wake up?”

He sighs. “I don’t know.” Axios says after a minute. The atmosphere is tense. I know I can’t feel emotions like Violet can, but I know that Axios hates me. Every time I talk, he tries to make it so I don’t need to respond.

“If we all relax, maybe she’ll come back.” I say. Axios looks up at me and raises his right eyebrow, the one with a scar going vertically through a spot by the end, blocking any hair from coming back. “Maybe she can still feel us.”

“He has a good point, Axios.” Bry says after a while.

“I can’t just calm down when my girlfriend is-!” he stops, then sighs.

And then someone is kicking down the door.