Hello internet! Well in this writing, you shall be informed upon the subtle reasons why I, Mel Skrabbles, am a complete failure to the entirety of the Universe and when I was born and Fate was planning out my life he woefully cried, 'OH DEAR GOD WHYYYYY?!'. And the numbers will be in German so you'll get a lil' knowledge stuffed in your brainhole. THE MORE YOU KNOW.
And yes, I know the title is a Danisnotonfire ripoff. BUT WHO GIVES A RAT'S *Insert swearword here*?! :D
Reason number Ein: I am lefthanded.
It sucks, I know. Whenever I write stuff I smudge the writing with my hand and this scenario happens daily:
Teacher: Mel, it's time to write your report on *Insert random subject here*.
Me: Ok! *Goes over to the electronic typewriter*
Teacher: Erm.. You have to save the typing for your final draft.
Me: ...... Why?
Teacher: Because.. Um... I'm the teacher and I say so.
Me: I'm lefthanded.
Teacher: Oh. *hands typewriter*
(My teacher is awesome so don't get the wrong idea)
Ok, so that was actually a win in some ways.
But either way, everybody says my writing is perfect (Which it really isn't) and hence I don't want to ruin it with my Satanic hand of doom and death and Satan and stuff.
I could honestly write a whole chapter on this but I'd prefer not to.
Reason number Zwei: I hate sports.
It's super annoying when people come up to you and say "HEY, THE YUKONS WON WITH TWO TEAMS! ISN'T THAT AMAZING?!" when I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SPORTS.
The only reason I know about this is because my school literally had a day where you had to dress up in Yukon t-shirts and stuff (But it was also a hat-wearing day, so I got to show off my rainbow kitty-ear hat *Insert smiley-face here*) and I was walking around and I could well have been wearing 'I HAVE CANCER' on my face and been noticed less than I was that day, walking around in a flannel and a Nyan-Cat t-shirt like the dolt I was. And it was all over the news too, I mean there were like 15 stories on the news about the Yukons winning that one game and then there was a story about orphans dying in a fire and there was a Yukon sticker on the firetruck as the fireman mournfully spoke of their death -- And apparently the death of their Yukon t-shirts for some reason, because they died wearing them.
Reason number Drei: I love all the wrong countries.
I'm American. But I'm not too fond of my country.
I know, I know, we're a world superpower and stuff, and I know I'm lucky not to have been born in Zimbabwe or something, but did you know (And I learned this in school) that, during World War Two, the Americans had their own concentration camps? Because during Pearl Harbor, nobody could be trusted, and everyone who was 1% or over of Japanese heratage was sent to either a work camp or a death camp. Keep in mind that most of these people were American-born, and that most people hate on Germany for doing this and that when America did it too.
My heritage is mostly German, and I love Germany to the bone. Their food is good, their culture is rich, their scenery is majestic, and (Currently) their government means no harm to anyone. The other half of me is Russian, and I love them, too. Their culture is amazing. I've never had Russian food, but I plan to try someday -- Not to mention most of their land is wildlife preserves for rare animals. And guess what? -- Russia has been democratic for a LONG TIME. Like, over 14 years now. And most of the country didn't even want to become Communist, and their whole 'DOWN WITH THE CZAR' thing failed, and I'm pretty sure that won't happen again. Even though Russia's going through some rough patches right now, and Putin is kind of a *Insert mean word here*, IT'S FRIGGIN AWESOME.
Ok, that's the end of Part One. Peace.
