Warmth (Cheer Legacy Trilogy #1)

11.

The girl's name is Emily Fairchild, and I really don't like her. Firstly, because she flaunts around that she knows more about Jesse than any of us ever would. Secondly, she's small and delicate, and guys just want to protect her. Thirdly, she's super annoying. Annoying like, she's super nice and sweet when there are guys around, but as soon as it's just us girls, she turns into a complainer. She complains about literally everything. 

"He used to be so cute," Emily tells me, smiling. "You know, he used to come over to my house and show me his toys, and beg me to play with him. He was always trying to find reasons to leave his house," she laughs. 

I bite the inside of my cheek to curb my anger. "Why did he want to leave his house?"

Her eyes widen, like she's said too much, then she shakes her head. "Oops, it's a secret. He didn't tell you?" Then she smirks and bounces away. I want so badly to chase after her and slam dunk her head.

When I try to tell Jesse what she's like, he just laughs it off, thinking I'm being jealous and asking me to just give her a chance. I almost blow my top at that one. Give her a chance? She's trying to steal my boyfriend! Give her a chance to do what? Succeed?

Emily throws herself at him every second she can, and though Jesse knows it pisses me off, he tries to talk to her nicely. I want to shove her in a trash can and kick it far away to kingdom come. I feel a distance growing between Jesse and I, and I don't like it. That girl is forcing herself between us. 

"Pippy, we need to talk," Jesse says to me as I sit in the field, eating my yogurt. I freeze at those words, a deep sense of dread creeping into my heart. 

"Okay," I say quietly, and put my yogurt down. I fold my arms to protect myself and hold myself together. I just know something bad is coming. "Shoot."

Jesse takes a deep breath and holds it. He frowns as he tries to figure out a good way to phrase what he wants to say. Then he exhales and sighs. "I'm taking Emily to Homecoming." He pauses to let that sink in for me, but it's not sinking anywhere because I've frozen. I've become an iceberg. "Pippy? Did you hear me?"

I stare at him glassily. He's taking her to Homecoming? What about me? What about Iggy Azalea's Goddess and gold glitter and my dance crew and the mall? I barely manage to nod.

He looks deeply into my eyes, scrutinizing my face, then sighs. "It's not what you think. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. She's like a sister to me. It's just, she's not comfortable going with anyone else, and I'm the only one she really knows here."

I stare at him. Is he serious? I'm the one who just transferred here this year. She transferred back. She knows more people than me, because I have to suffer through her complaints about people I never even knew existed. My heart is already all the way down in my shoes, and I feel like my face must be white from how cold it is. 

I start shaking my head. "No, Jesse. You asked me to go, remember?"

Jesse sighs. "But that was before I knew that Emily is back."

A pain so sharp it can't be a knife. More like a spear, slicing through my heart. "So if you knew she was back, you wouldn't have asked me?" I whisper, getting choked up. "What the fuck, Jesse?"

Jesse's eyes widen as he realizes what he said, and he backtracks quickly. "That's not what I mean! I meant that I'm worried about her, she can't handle herself unlike you. She needs to be protected."

He's an idiot. A major one. The pressure that had been building in my chest spontaneously combusts. "I can't do this anymore," I say quietly. "You beg me to trust you, but you do nothing to earn that trust. You tell me you won't hurt me anymore and ask me to talk to you, but every time I tell you something you shoot it down and don't listen. If you were going to back out of it so easily, you shouldn't have asked me to go. I've had enough, Jesse." I pick up my empty tray and the yogurt. 

Jesse's eyes are stricken, his face pale. "What are you saying?"

"You can't sit on the fence; you have to pick a side." I frown at him. "I think the question isn't if I trust you. The real question is, do you trust me?" I move away, but he catches up easily and spins me to face him, the tray and box flying away.

"What are you saying?" he demands, panic in his face. "Are you telling me to choose between the two of you? You're different! You're...you're everything to me. She's like my little sister!"

"I'm everything to you?" I scoff, my temper reaching the boiling point. I can almost hear the steam coming out of my ears. "'I can't go tonight, I have to babysit Emily,'or 'Emily needs my help with homework' or 'I have to protect Emily'" My voice goes really low. "Or my favorite, 'I'd rather take Emily to Homecoming than you."

Jesse's eyes widen so huge, they are in danger of falling out of his head. I bet he never thought of it that way. "It's not...it's not like that..."

I shake my head hard and fast. "No, Jesse. I've had enough. I've put up with it for two months, and I've put up with her royal spoilt-bratness, I've even put up with you not believing me, choosing her over me. I'm very confused."

Jesse blinks at me. "Confused?"

I nod sharply. "Yeah. Confused. You say I'm everything but your actions say otherwise. You drop everything to go to her, you even drop me. I'm not your everything, she is. And I can't take it. You either take my side or take hers."

Jesse is shaking his head back and forth as if he can't believe a word I say. "It's not like that at all! I know it may seem that way, but you've got it totally wrong! Please, Pippy, I can't lose you."

"Then prioritize me!" I yell at him. "Choose me over her. Make me feel important, because right now I feel like the girl who's being neglected so her boyfriend can go protect some other girl!"

He's shaking his head slowly, back and forth, back and forth. "I can't...I..."

Even after my big speech, he hasn't jumped feet first to my side. That means he's not choosing me. It means he's never going to choose me over her. I laugh at him bitterly. "That's it. I'm done. You take her to the dance. Go, have fun, and protect her." I look at him squarely in the eyes, and though my heart is shattering into a million pieces, I say one last thing. "Your ex-girlfriend here won't wait around for you to finally remember her again."

I yank my arm out of his grip and trudge quickly up the hill, and I break into a run. I need to get away from him for the rest of forever. Because he promised me forever, and within the space of two months, it has already shattered. When I reach the top of the hill, I hear a very raw, plaintive cry.

"SHIT!" Jesse yells, and I'm pretty sure the whole school hears him. 

I've given up. 

"How about you go to the dance with me?" Luke cajoles. "Hmm? Just the two of us against the world again?"

We're in my room, and I'm curled up under my blankets on my bed while Luke kneels beside me, trying to resuscitate me.

I smile vaguely at him. He's been my rock through it all, and I'm sad to think that it's Luke's last year. "Don't you have a date?"

Luke shrugs. "Date, schmate.  I would always rather go with you."

I sigh. "Nah. I'm thinking I won't bother to go. You go. Enjoy it."

Luke looks at me with disgust. "I won't leave you alone on Homecoming, Pips. Give me more credit already."

I laugh and nod. "Okay, Luke. I'll go with you."

It's been two days since I broke things off with Jesse, two days since the entire school heard about it, and two days since I haven't done anything about it. I haven't seen Jesse again, and haven't gotten any texts or calls. Well, aside from everyone else asking me what the hell is going on with the school's Golden Couple. 

Luke beams at me. "Brilliant! I'll pick you up at seven. We'll get something to eat first, then head over."

"Luke," I say warningly. "It's not a date. I'm going with you as a friend. Like two stags going together."

His face falls, but then brightens up again as he shrugs. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you at seven, then."

He leaves, and as much as I really want to bury myself back into sleep, I sigh and get up. Time to let Jesse see what he's missing.