Warmth (Cheer Legacy Trilogy #1)

21.

I sit on the sand at Jesse's beach house. We came here with a few close friends for the summer, and I've learned and gotten pretty good at surfing. I unfold the wrinkled envelope and stare at it. The sky is still barely light, the dawn catching on a few clouds. We'd partied and played and generally had the time of our lives this summer, and tomorrow we head back to Mountain View. I had promised myself that I'd read this during the summer vacations, and here I am, making good on that promise. 

I see a few of our surfer friends walking towards the beach with their surfboards under their arms. Their spot me and wave, and I wave back. I don't smile, so they know I'm not up for company right now. We'd made friends with the locals, who'd been awesome and taught us how to swim and showed us the best bars and clubs. 

One of them, Mikey, had been hitting on me and Jesse has to grit his teeth every time they meet. Us being a couple doesn't bother him, and he sometimes does things just to piss Jesse off. I find the whole thing funny so I don't stop it. I see Mikey now as he contemplates coming over, but I shake my head at him. I make shooing motions with my hands and he nods and follows the surfers. 

Taking a deep breath, I decide it's time. 

I open the envelop and pull out two pieces of paper. One is a picture, the other one is a typed message. I keep the picture turned away from me, not ready to see him yet. I read the other paper, and I can feel the blood draining from my face. I finish the letter and stay there in that position, mind blank. I feel like a zombie. 

I don't know how long I sit there, staring at nothing, both papers clutched tight in my hands as they try to flutter away in the strong sea breeze. 

"Pippy?" Jesse plops down in the sand next to me. "What's up early bird?"

When I don't answer, he turns serious and looks at my face to the papers in my hands. His face pales and he swallows, blinking. "Are you okay?" He reaches forward and pulls me into a warm embrace. I go to him willingly, and only just notice that I'm so cold, my teeth are chattering and there's goosebumps on every available surface on my skin.

"He--" I try to say but it feels like something lodges painfully in my throat, and before I can get the next syllable out, there's tears streaming down my face. I choke and cough, and Jesse rubs my back gently, tenderly. Then it turns into an all-out bawl. 

I cry and sob and hiccup while Jesse comforts me and murmurs sweet nothings that are meant to be soothing in my ear. After what feels like hours, I finally quiet down into sniffling. Jesse pulls out a handkerchief to silently hands it to me, and I scrub my face. 

"Better?" He murmurs into my hair. 

I don't know what to feel or how I'm feeling, so I just don't answer. He understands and just hugs me tighter in silence, just holding me, anchoring me to earth. 

There's a few hoots as the surfers pass, but we don't respond. I feel bad, like I'm being snobby but they're a chill bunch. They won't be all pissy about not getting attention. The sound of the ocean is calming, and I get tired of sitting in the same spot for too long. As if on cue, my stomach growls and I giggle. 

Jesse laughs outright and he stands up, pulling me with him. "Come on, let's go get some food in you."

When we get in, most of them are already up and having breakfast. The cook makes a wicked good breakfast. He sees us, fixes us a plate each and waves us away. "Go have fun outside, get out of my kitchen."

Jesse raises an amused eyebrow. "I would think it's my kitchen."

The cook points a spoon at Jesse. "Do you live here every day of the year? Cook in this kitchen for those days?"