What You Wanted

The Picnic

You chuck out your clothes violently as your rack your brain with things to wear. Today's the day. Sunday. The day of yours and Luke's picnic and to be honest, you're really fucking scared. "Calm down, Y/N," you tell yourself, under your breath. You decide on some shorts that are slightly ripped and you hope, slightly cute, a logo t shirt and your white converses. I mean, you can't go wrong with converses, you think. You look at your watch, 12:45, it reads.

"Shit," you curse under your breath. It takes 10 minutes to get to his house and you still need to...wait what do you need to do? You realise you're actually ready to go but you're just so scared that you have to sit down for the five minutes before you leave, listening to your favourite band, Blink 182, and compose yourself.

After listening to "I Miss You", your favourite song of all time, you decide it's time to go, you take a deep breath, unlock the door, with your heart in your mouth, the exact same feeling as last time, but worst, as this time you actually had proper feelings for him. You unlock your bike and notice your hands are shaking, like really shaking. You try and slap one hand with the other to take control of yourself but it doesn't work and you decide you need to go otherwise you're going to be late. You exhale slowly and start one the route to Luke's house.

As you walk up to the door, to ring the knocker you literally think you're going to throw up, it's too much, but it is OK, you do take control of yourself, just. "Hey, Y/N," Luke says in a voice that makes him sound really nervous, it's cute though, really cute.

"Hi, Luke," you respond, hoping to sound cute. Hoping.

"Um, I'm just gonna get my bike from round the back, I'll just be two seconds. Wait there?" He asks and says at the same time.

"OK," you respond. You hear bikes clutter down the back passage where Luke's bike obviously is. He wheels it out and you see a racing bike. Wow, you think.

"I like your bike," he mumbles, it's so cute you're actually finding it hard to breath.

"Thanks, I like yours too," you respond. "Did you bring food?" You ask, changing the subject. "I didn't cause there wasn't anything nice at my house, but I've brought money," you're spitting words out like a machine gun, it's just something you do when you're nervous.

"Yeah I brought doughnuts and cookies and some strawberries, if that's OK?" He replies.

"Yeah, that's cool," you answer. You both get on your bikes, and start to cycle down the street. "So where are we going?" You ask.

"Um, I was thinking the park just nearby town? The one where everyone seems to hang out? But there's a really nice spot I know where we won't be seen by anyone from school," he's babbling on and you love it. You love how you can make him feel so comfortable that he starts being himself.

"Wow, yeah OK," you giggle slightly, "I like the sound of the spot where no one from school goes, I hate seeing people I, or we, know, in public places. I'm just so awkward."

"Me too," he says with surprising confidence. "I'm awkward around people I like, usually."

You arrive at the park and Luke sets his bike down at a tree and you look up at the sky. It's so blue, like bluer than blue, every blue, ever, with clouds dotted in and out of them. "Isn't it beautiful?" You say, out of the blue.

"What is?" He responds, puzzled.

"The sky. Look at all the colours. Wow."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. You're so creative and observant, Y/N, you find beauty everywhere." He looks you straight in the eye as he says this, looking no where else but your eyes. You giggle at the compliment, trying to sound cute and hoping it's paying off. Hoping.

"Shit," you sigh.

"What?" Luke asks.

"I forgot the picnic blankets."

"It's fine. You can sit on my jumper and I'll just sit on the ground." He takes off his jumper and hands it to you as you place it on the ground.

"Thanks, Luke." You begin eating a doughnut, the blood red jam going everywhere, and you and Luke pretending you're vampires. You feel five years old when you're with him, sometimes, but other times you can have the most serious of discussions. That's what you love about Luke. You can talk to him about anything. After you've eaten all the food Luke says to you,

"Do you like All Time Low?"

"Do I like All Time Low? All Time Low are basically my religion. My favourite song is definitely Jasey Rae, and the MTV Unplugged version. What's your favourite?" You reply, ecstatic that he loves a band that you basically like by. We have so much in common, you think.

"Oh my god definitely Jasey Rae too. You know I went to see All Time Low about a year ago?"

"Really?! No waaay! I'm so jealous," you say this and tuck your hair behind your ears and he's staring at you, not in a creepy way, in a way that's he's just discovering you.

"Wait, listen to this," Luke murmurs and places an earphone into your ear and the other one in his, and starts to play a song. You immediately recognise it as "I Miss You", but you don't say anything, you just listen. As the second verse comes in, you both lift up your heads and smile and make eye contact. Slowly, with the headphones still in you lean forward to each other. You place your hands on his ears and spread your fingers out and he puts his up the back of your head and through your tangled hair. Your lips meet and you close your eyes. It's literally like your world is exploding, there are fireworks in your mouths. His drags his tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance and you let him put his tongue in. You explore each other's mouths, your tongues dancing and your hands moving. Finally you pull away, slowly, still looking into each other eyes. "Wow," he says, still looking at you. You giggle and tuck your hair behind your ear and look straight at him.

"You're pretty good," you say, cheekily.

"You really think so?" He replies, puzzled.

"Yeah. Really." He smiles and you notice the creases by his eyes as he lifts his lips up and you see the dimples in the centre of his cheeks, like craters.

"Um, Y/N?" He asks, nervously.

"Yeah?" You reply.

"I've, wait, I've done. Wait I've written. Um. Something for you. A song?"

"A song?"

"Yeah." As his mumbles it he reaches behind him and grabs something that looks like a guitar case. That's what it was, you think. He unclips it and carefully pulls out a smooth, well kept acoustic guitar. "So if I could play it for you? If that's OK?" He says, his voice shaking.

"Of course you can play it for me," you smile as you as say this, a big smile.

"OK then, here goes." He opens his mouth and starts to sing,

"I can't remember the last time I saw your face,

I feel so lonely without the crowded space,

You left me without direction," You can't stop smiling. It's such a beautiful song and it's even more beautiful as he's written it for you. No one else in the world. But you.

"Cause without you I'm a lost boy,

Without you I'm a lost boy,

Without you I'm a lost boy,

Without you I'm a lost boy." As the song ends you clap him and smile.

"Luke. That was really beautiful. Thank you." He doesn't say anything, just smiles, not only with his mouth, but with his eyes, too. And you both lay down and look up at the striking blue sky, as you laugh about nothingness.

~~~~~~~~

This chapter was sososo sad to write but I ship them so much omg.

love y'all x