Just be more chill - boyf riends (One Shots)

Shit.

Word count: 532

The door remained closed. I place my hand upon the cold piece of metal, afraid of what might inside.

After hesitating, I finally open the door and let myself through the opening. In the corner of the room lays a crying Jeremy.

My heart sinks at the sound of his sobs. Never in my life have I ever been in a room filled with such a heavy sense of hopelessness.

Almost instantly, I ran to his side and plopped myself next to him.

"Jeremy, is everything okay?" The question manages to escape my throat before getting swallowed up by my own cries.

The taller boy places his head on my shoulder and muffles the sounds of sadness. Suddenly, he grips my arm and holds on like it's a teddy bear.

"My mom left, my dad's a wreck, I almost destroyed the whole school, I don't have Christine anymore, and I can't seem to get over people. I am a fucking mess. I don't deserve you..." He dragged out the last word then carried it into the sleeve of my hoodie.

Okay Michael, don't stress, just calm him down. I have never seen Jeremy so.. lost. I wish I could tell him I love him but I just can't.

Slowly, I begin to rub circles on his back and whisper "It'll all be okay" into his ear.

Jeremy turns toward me and stares me directly in the eyes. He looks so small and defeated. All I want to do is hug him and shower him with kisses; anything to show him how much I love him.

"Is it okay if I do something crazy, I- I uh if I do, promise you won't mad?" He asks. Something about the question worries me but I nod my head anyway.

He closes his eyes then places his lips against mine. Woah. I sit shocked then I feel Jeremy pull away and look at the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Mich... I shouldn't have. I am.. I.. I just am bad with words and-"

To silence the boy from rambling, I close the gap between us. I have dreamed of this moment for eleven plus years, I am not going to throw it away.

The flavor of lemon riddled his lips and I melt. His touch is soft and delicate. Everything is perfect. Jeremy starts to climb into my lap as I slowly run my hands under his shirt.
Then, every bad thought rushes through my mind.

He doesn't love you. He is using you to feel less lonely. Even if he did like you, you two could probably never be a thing. You don't have the fucking balls to tell him you love him. Get over yourself. Leave while you can.

I don't want to pull away yet I feel myself doing just that. A burning sensation runs to my face. I'm turning a bright shade of red. Jeremy climbs off my lap, he looks not only broken but heartbroken.

Good, you fucked up look at how you made him look!

Jeremys eyes start to water as he looks at me walk next to the door.

"I.. I love you, Jeremy, I hope you feel better. I'm sorry." Is all I could mutter out.

Then, I leave. Shit.

This was shitty but oh well.