Breaking Away and Being Prepared

Chapter 1

I used to be an ordinary everyday little girl at the age of 5 living in a cruel world where there were some everyday average crime going on about, but I was always happy and positive loving the planet not giving any care of what was happening. I was in Tennessee. Just as long as I had my mother, TV, and dress up clothes to play movies in, I was just fine and knew we would live. School was also amazing to me then because it was pretty much learning put to play and activities..hmh. But when I was first introduced to the lord God and Jesus, I used to not really care about them because I had no idea who they are. I never understood them. So I kept living my easy street life always smiling and being happy. My mother and I used to visit family a lot. My family used to even come over our house a lot. I loved that most of all, though I was very shy and always kept quiet most of the time. I'm still that way now though I'm a teenager now. But anyways, I would also see my new cousins too and have so much fun playing them. Getting to know my big family on my mother's side was a lot of work for me. But I learned a little easy. I also made my mother a little concerned that I wasn't that interested in the lord. I didnt pay too much attention at times during children's church either. I mean I did listen, it's just that sometimes it was hard for me to listen because it was too much for me to comprehend with, I misunderstood something, or some parts were boring. Since I let everything in my life just go with the flow, I definitely misunderstood the purpose of learning about God. So, my mother made me learn even if I didnt want to study or learn. I praise God she did make me. Otherwise I would have no idea who Jonah, Noah, Moses, Peter, Abraham, or Jesus are..especially God Himself. Though I learned about them and some other Bible stories I still wasn't understand the purpose of the lord nor why I had to learn about Him. My grandmother explained and taught me why we have to learn about Him every time I asked, and that Jesus is savior, my grandmother said. I thought it was pretty neat but I still wasn't understanding. I remember going to her church the most at Temple of Deliverance. I loved that church. Though the music annoyed me at times, not in a bad way, because every morning right when church is about to start, I am so unaware of when the music will start. Right when I lose my guard I jump in a startle and even almost cried because the banging of the loud beating drums would catch me so bad and scare me. It would just beat out of nowhere. I would never know when it's about to play so I could cover my ears on time and not get scared, then I could uncover them and enjoy the church music. It was always a little funny to me when the music got the adults so pumped up that they would start making their way to the isle or in front of the altar and start shouting. 'How do they do that?' I would ask in my thoughts or 'Why are they doing that? Its...interesting It's like...they're somebody else when they dance like that'. I would sometimes listen to the preacher but still not understand what he was talking about at times because it's for adults. At around the age of .....7 or 8 ...maybe even 9 or 10.. I believe...I came to a better understanding of the lord. This was when my mother and I moved to California. I understood why I need to learn about him. We need to learn about God because He is the way, He is the lord, savior and shield, and he is our Father. When I heard "He is the way" I asked myself, 'He is the way to what?'. I asked some adults what that meant. They said "It means he is the way to life". But I still wasn't comprehending with what they were saying well. But I let it slide and decided to try to understand what they meant as I grew up.