Lost in Your Eyes | Enrique Iglesias

Chapter 22

*Y/N POV*

I'm sitting at this table, staring at nothing. My fingers are burning on the hot cup of coffee, but it's the last thing I care about right now. Yesterday, the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me vanished away. I broke up with Enrique. I have been crying non-stop. I don't know what to call it: just a break or a real break up. 

I don't know if I did the right thing, but maybe..maybe I did. I am sad though. I should feel relieved, I should be excited to discover people and do stuff. But I'm not. Here I am, feeling like shit, on a day with a weather that represents my mood, trying to sip on the only thing I am able to ''feed'' myself with. I haven't showered since Friday and now it's Sunday morning. I have only eaten some stupid crackers because Jane made me to. 

I didn't only destroy the most precious thing to ever happen to me, I broke the heart of the man who truly, really loves me. What's wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with me? 

''Are you crying again?'' Jane's voice, who was at the toilet, interrupted my thoughts. I didn't realize I was crying. 

''Why did I do it?'' I ask, eyes not moving from the nothingness I was looking at earlier. 

''I have no idea, but I still think you did wrong. It wasn't something to break up for. I would too get mad and think stupid thoughts if my some other woman answered my boyfriend's phone, if I had one'' she says, shrugging her shoulders. She is such a good person and I love her sincerity. 

''What should I do now?'' 

''I think you should first eat, shower, get some sleep and then think about it. But think, not cry about it. Think! Ask yourself questions and answer them'' she says with her calming voice. ''Now let's go. I'll make us lunch''. 

We enter Jane's apartment and I look around confused for a few seconds, forgiving that this is not my house. 

''I will put on some music, it will make you feel better'' my friend says with a warm smile as I nod. 

''Heavy metal would work well'' I say as I try to crack a smile as well. 

''Girl, you ready to rock?'' Jane says as she raised her fingers formed into the rock sign, crunching her nose and biting her lip. As soon as Iron Maiden's Revelations starts playing. I nod pleased by the choice of music and start singing along on my way to the shower. 

I didn't think a shower and a delicious curry chicken would make me feel so much better. Now Jane and I decided to watch The Hangover, all the parts, for probably the sixth time since it came out. I realize I'm slowly starting to think less and less about Enrique as I laugh along at the comedy. 

*One week later*

It's been one week. One week since I broke the heart of the man I love the most in this world. One week since I broke my own. He has only called twice, a few days ago. I think he wants to give me time. I think he doesn't want to suffocate me. Yet I can't say it made me sad that he didn't call more times. I need to know that he needs me. IF..he does. 

I'm not crying anymore, but I'm not happy. I miss him like crazy. My heart is craving him. I am miserable and I can't stop thinking about him. Fuck, what was I thinking? What is wrong with my mind? I lost the love of my life. 

Even my students have noticed that there's something wrong with me. Sometimes I look at a student without listening to what he or she is saying. The only one on my mind is Enrique. 

''Listen, you have to do something about it'' Jane tells me. 

''But what? I don't know what. I've done enough shit. He hasn't called anymore, maybe I hurt him too much and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore'' I say truthfully. 

''Get your shit together and go get back your man!'' she says as she claps her hands loudly enough to wake my brains up. She is right though. I have to get him back. I can't just sit and cry all day everyday without trying. 

So I'm going to try. I pick up my phone and without overthinking it too much, I dial Enrique. 

''Hello?'' even though it's rougher than usual and very much worried, his voice soothes me. One week of not hearing this voice definitely felt like one year. 

I realize I never answered back when he calls my name: ''Y/N, are you there?''. I close my eyes and sigh at the sound of his voice saying my name. 

''Hi'' I say more to myself than to him. Luckily he hears it. ''Do you..uhm, do you..even want to hear me? I understand if you don't'' I say almost in tears. 

''I..Uhm, are you alright?'' he asks. I can imagine his beautiful face while asking that. 

''No. Are you?'' I ask. I feel awkward. 

I can only hear..silence. I sigh and lean with my back against the wall. ''Please say something'' I say.

''No, I am not alright. Listen..is there anything in particular you want to tell me? I don't really think I can handle any more of this'' he is stuttering, I am confused as to what he means, even though I kind of have a feeling that I know what it is. Before I can say something, he goes on: ''Why did you call?''. Fuck. 

''I called because I want to talk to you'' I feel horrible. 

''To tell me what?'' if I know him well enough, I am completely sure he is crying right now. I am such a piece of shit. 

''That I am so sorry for breaking us'' I am sincere and I want him to know how I am feeling. ''I really am''. 

I hear a sigh. I wish I was next to him to give him a hug, to lay down in our warm bed and hold each other as if it's only him and I in this world. ''I know that I acted impulsively and that we should have just talked it out, but my brain, my stupid brain felt the need to end things. I understand if you don't want to hear from me anymore. I rea-'' I get interrupted by him. 

''Come back to me''. I burst into tears like never before. I wanted to hear those words, but never expected to. How can such a wonderful person want someone like me, with such a messed up mind; someone so impulsive. 

''I need you to forgive me. I am sorry for being such a bad person'' I say through tears. 

''No, you're not a bad person'' he says, his voice making my heart flutter. 

''Will you please meet me tonight to talk?'' I ask nervously.

''Where?'' 

''I don't really know. At a café?'' 

''Just come home'' he says and my heart flutters once again. Home. Our home. 

The next thing I know, I am in front of our house, ready to knock at the door. Ready to see the love of my life again. Ready to hold onto him forever.