Like No Other

🙂

I was supposed to write this yesterday but was doing a searching high and low for college books😐 but here it is now on a Friday evening.

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I don't have a topic today so I guess I'll talk about my day...

I had math today at 8 in the morning, it was difficult and at times I couldn't understand a word the professor was talking about.

I wanted to say fuck it and go to sleep, but as tired as I was I didn't.

I literally stared from the bored to my notebook waiting for the problem to make sense, it tool almost the whole class and by 9:30 I finally got it as the teacher told us to pack up.

I felt dumb that it took me almost an hour but at the same time smarter that I finally understood something in a day 😅

Not sure why but it had me thinking..."Am I maturing? Way to go Semecca! Way to fucking go!"

I would've ate a donut but I was low on cash at the moment and reminded myself to control myself it was only 10 in the morning.

Anyway I sat in the library thinking and thinking so here I am writing down my thoughts.

I was writing in a journal in the library.😋

My sister told me once that it was good that I was trying and beginning to have feelings...But I don't know if that's good, I don't like the fact that I'm being so emotional.

That was never something I did, my mom was pretty shocked when I told her how I felt instead of having a blank expression on my face.

In high school I'd never told anyone how my day was, but now I tell people everything that happened in school even what I do on my breaks.

Am I changing?

I used to believe that people couldn't change, that as people say "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

I guess now I don't think that? Maybe just maybe if they want something or someone bad enough they'll change.

Some say it's for the best...What if it isn't? What if changing hurts you and the people around you?

Why care about the people around you though? I mean you only want to change for one person so fuck everyone else right?

Eh...well I personally don't know.

What if that something or someone doesn't care about you? Then I guess changing would be best for you.

At the same time if you don't genuinely care about the person, then changing is better for them...I guess?

So many questions and yet no answers, I'm the only human being made up of more questions than water.

Realizing that I'm writing about people wanting to change for something/someone important but

I don't know what I'm changing for.😕

-♏