Your Sweet Six Six Six | Sitkolson [C]

Chapter 26 | Pushing Buttons

In the quiet of the forest, all that could be heard was crickets and two teenage boys making out. Ricky was comfortable this way. He knew that much. Being in Ryder's lap, feeling his hands all over his body, it was content. The further their relationship went on, the more he'd lost faith in the concepts Hollywood had created. Unlike the movies, there is no "spark" or "moment" that confirms you're with the right person. At least, he didn't think so anyways.

Ryder didn't make him feel invincible or anything like that, but he did make him happy. It just wasn't that over the moon feeling that TV makes it out to be. In the back of his mind, he still had a prodding feeling that he should be feeling more, and maybe that's what kept him from going past the make out stage. Or maybe it was everything that happened with Ryan.

Whatever it may be, when Ryder started to push him into unknown territory, he started to get hesitant and scared. The biker had taken both their shirts off and began to gently kiss down his chest. Ryder gently sucked on his nipple, earning a very small whimper from him. It wasn't much, but hey, it was something. Some people are pretty quiet during pleasure and Ryder could only hope Ricky was the type.

He kept his hands around the smaller boy's lower back, slowly guiding him to grind his hips against his own. Ricky did at first, but found it hard to do with any confidence. Out here, even with no one around, he felt exposed. He wouldn't use the word terrified, but frightened, definitely. Ryder turned his body, switching them around so Ricky was under him. He kissed Ricky's neck intently, trailing a hand up and down his side.

He grabbed the smaller's wrist, attempting to move Ricky's hand down between his legs. When Ricky realized what he was doing, he quickly put a stop to it. Yanking back his hand, he stammered, "Ryder, I- I don't want to do this. Not right now."

Ryder sighed as he moved off of him, "Where then, Ricky? I've tried ta'be patient an' respectful but damn it! I can't fucking wait around forever!"

He sat up, pulling his legs up to his chest. "I'm sorry! I want to, I do, but I just can't get rid of this feeling that I'm doing something wrong. I don't know what it is. If it's guilt that I'm not out or what, but I don't want to have sex yet."

"You know," He scoffed, "You act so damn tough to your friends but you're nothin' but a scared kid. I thought you were like me."

Ricky looked at him strangely. "What'd you mean like you?" 

"Rough, beat down. You know, someone that's had to fight a lot to get where they are. You're not, though. You live a soft life, your folks are still together and they've never had to worry about money. You've never been alone. You've got good friends, or what you consider good friends anyways." 

"Whoa, okay, we'll deal with that comment later, but are you seriously trying to say my life is perfect? And if I was trailer park trash I would've fucked you by now? Is that it?"

"No, it's not. I didn't say that. I'm saying if you understood me, you wouldn't be so damn scared of me. You might be nicer to me than most people, but you still don't trust me." Ryder replied.

"Not everything's about you, you know." Ricky snapped back, "Did you ever think that maybe I haven't fucked you yet because I'm going through some shit? I lost my best friend last Friday thanks to you. You think I don't trust you? I don't give a shit about you? Ryan's been my best friend almost my entire life and I chose you over him." 

"You're better off without him. He's a damn cheat, you know. Just like his old man." He muttered.

Ricky looked at him with wide eyes. After pouring his heart out, he'd expected a little warmer response than that. "Just like your old man, you mean? He told me the truth, that his dad is your step dad. When did you plan on telling me that? Were you just going to leave it a secret forever?"

Ryder stood up, grabbing his shirt and jacket. "You didn't need to know. Not exactly somethin' I'm proud of." He seethed, "I bet that asshole told you everything else, then, huh? All that shit about his dad fuckin' my mom?"  

"Yeah, and he told me some other things too. He said you've broken into his house before. I didn't want to believe him, but-"

"But, what, Ricky? But when you're seeing my true colors, seeing everything they say about me is true, it's easy to believe?" He spoke in a mocking tone that just pissed Ricky off more.

"Ryder, I- I didn't say that." 

"You didn't need to say anything. You got that same look in your eyes that they all get." 

Ryder grabbed Ricky's bag off the back of his bike and threw it at him. Ricky whimpered upon getting hit. He looked up at the guy he dared to call his boyfriend. His long black hair fell in front of his scared, desperate eyes. Today had been enough of a damn mess. Ryder took off on his bike as quickly as he could, leaving Ricky abandoned in the middle of nowhere. He was too shell shocked to try to protest and just let it happen.