All We Know Is Falling - A Tayley Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Pressure

"Hayley...Hayles...Hayley Williams, wake up!"

I open my eyes groggily to see my husband standing over me. The gesture is probably meant to be endearing, but instead it seems almost menacing, and I roll over to the other side of the bed, hiding my face and hoping that he'll leave me alone. No such luck.

"Hayles, come on. I just found out that New Found Glory have been booked to play in Las Vegas tonight, so I'll be away for a few nights. Let's spend this morning together before I have to go, ok?"

Unwillingly, I allow myself to be dragged out of bed and in to the kitchen, where I slump sleepily into a chair. My hands reach out, zombie-like, trying to reach the box of Lucky Charms on the table in front of me, but instead I find a plate of waffles placed in front of me. My favourite, but today I don't feel like eating them. Nevertheless, I wolf them down and sink lower into my chair, still clad in my pyjamas. Across the table, Chad smiles at me.

"Las Vegas, hey? Partying, gambling...I'm going to the entertainment capital of the world! I wish you could come...hey, maybe you can! Want to come to Nevada with me, babe?"

I grunt, noncommittal, which seems, thankfully, to be taken as a refusal.

"Maybe next time, hey?" Chad says, smiling as he leaves the room. His demeanour seems to almost be false, like he's putting on a façade. What's he hiding? Then again, everything's been pretty messed up since Jeremy left the band. Unlike me, my husband appears to be able to hide his depression.

A door-handle turning brings me back to life, and I turn to see an all-too-familiar face grinning as it enters the room. He starts to make small talk, mentioning the weather, of all things. I tune out, staring at the walls that I've known for so long, that fulfilled my dreams and yet are somehow trapping me now. Eventually, after a few minutes, I excuse myself and drag myself to the bathroom. Stepping into the shower, I let the warm water flow over my body, soaking my overly-cheery bubblegum-blue hair, now a tangled mess compared to the beautiful bob that everyone seemed to love. I need a change, I think.

As soon as I'm finished washing, I run to the bedroom and hole myself up in there, praying that I'll be granted some privacy. Pulling out my phone, I see the usual 15 messages, voicemails and missed calls from Taylor. Why can't he leave me alone? I just want to separate myself from the band, but he's always reaching out to me. Shaking my head, I speed-dial Brian and leave a message: "Hi Brian, it's me. Yes, yes, I know I haven't spoken to you, or anyone, in a long time, but I really need a style change, right now. Everything's ok, don't worry, but I just need something different right now, ok?" My voice breaks. "Can I come at 4?...same time as always, I'm a girl of habit, I know. Think about something that is the polar opposite of everything I've done before. My life is taking a new direction. See you soon!" Sighing, I hang up.

A muffled shout comes from the other side of the door. "Hayles, can I come in? I really need to pack."

"Sure, come on then," I say, my voice lacklustre. The door opens and I shift so that I'm curled up in the corner of the bed. For the next 30 minutes, I listen to Chad's mindless drone, making a few noises every once in a while so that he knows that I'm still conscious, not that I think he'd notice particularly if I did pass out. At last, it's 11 o'clock and he leaves me alone in the house, kissing me absentmindedly, telling me that he'll be back on "Friday...or maybe Saturday...", and slamming the door with a muffled "oops!" Finally, I breathe.

Stop it! Why am I thinking like this about my one true love?

At least, I think he's my one true love...