Confessions of a Single Gay Millennial (boyxboy) Timothee Chalamet

Chapter 10: Apologies and Acceptance

At the The Restaurant

As usual, I arrived earlier which is a habit of mine. I have to be patient this time, listen to what she has to say.

Things are racing in my mind, I remembered my conversation with Alixie about how she had done something to Sab that might have caused our friendship to crumble. I would really like to know what happened to her. I wait patiently for her.

Finally Sabirina arrived. She has changed a lot. She's now more plump but still curvy. Her black hair is long and straight. Round faced and catty eyes.

She approached me. "Thank you for coming here" she said.

"I wanted to be here anyway, I have so many questions Sab" I replied. "Please do seat down, I said calmly so she wont notice that I was nervous."

"I too have questions" with a bit of quiver on her voice, her expression worried.

"How are you now" I asked casually as if nothing happened in the past.

"I don't know, its been 5 or 6 years" She replied. "How about you" Sab asked curiously.

"Not so okay now" I confessed. "Where have you been all these years?" Reaching my hand to try to touch hers.

There was a pause for like a second, clearly trying to think of what to say.

"Since.... I left during our fourth year high school, I transferred to Manila but eventually I went to California with my mother. There I finished my college degree" Sab replied.

"But why did you leave? You never texted or called" I asked longing for an answer in my voice.

"I thought you knew." Sab blurted out. "All this time. Alixie did not tell you did she" Sab asked a bit furiously.

"We talked just recently and I just found out that you had a fall out with her during high school but she never told me about it."

Sab was quiet for a second and hesitating to speak.

"Here's the thing. I.......I.. like you. I like you more than a friend" Sab finally spoke with fear on her voice.

I really did not know what to say at this point and just said what came out of my mind.

"But I'm gay" I responded to her.

"Yes...I knew it and I have known for a long time but still, I like you. You always make me laugh and happy."

"You are always so sweet and give me your attention. You always listen to what I have to say and I admire you for that. That's why I have developed my feelings for you regardless of what others may think."

My hands are now sweaty, heart beating fast. It's the first time a girl confessed to me especially my friend. I did not to what to respond.

"But why would you leave me if you love me" I replied.

"I was afraid that you would hate me and that I won't be your bestfriend anymore and I was jealous" Sab confessed bowing her head because of emabrassment.

"Jealous of what... of whom" I asked a bit irritated.

"Of JMark, its evident." Her voice slightly angered. "You really like him" Sab said to straight to my face.

"I can't bear to see you happy with him. You always talk about him, your so sweet to him and you make him laugh, things that you always did to me. I felt so left out and rejected. So I choose to leave."

"That's the reason you left? We could have talked about it you know. You could have stayed" I said, my heart beating so fast it could burst.

"But I choose to go... I know we were young then and we make stupid decisions. But what I felt for you was true. It's not just you, it has also something to do with Alixie."

I felt that the tension and emotions between us is too high now so I tried to compose myself and be rational.

"Then tell me about it" I asked calmly.

"It's between the two of us to discuss, the same as this is between us" Sab replied.

Now I know. I thought to myself. Its already in the past. Its time to forgive and forget.

"I'm so sorry Sab. I did not mean to hurt you or ignore your feelings. I was too caught up my fantasy world with JMark that I forgot about you, my only bestfriend" I retorted.

After saying that, I took the courage to stand up and walk towards Sab. She then stood up and I hugged her so tight.

"I missed you" I said sincerely to her.
"I missed you too" Sab replied.

I looked right to her eyes and said:

"Besfriends" I asked cheerfully trying to lift the mood.
"Bestfriends" Sab replied with a tear flowing from her left eye.

~•~•~•~•~

After dinner, Sab and I went out to walk and talk then go home. As we were walking along the pathway, some kids caught my attention. They were eating a box strawberry flavored candies. Unconsiciously, the scene made me smile. Then, one of the children saw me smiling at them so she walked towards.

"Do you want some" the child asked innocently.

"Yes, those are actually my favorite" I replied.

"It was given to us by a handsome guy for free so I am also giving it to you for free" the child cheerfully said.

"So nice of you. Thank you very much" I said to the little girl then she ran back to her little friends.

"I know that smile" Sab jokingly said.

"What smile" I asked confusingly.
"You know, whenever he gives you one of those you just light up" Sab teasing me.

I remember and I can't deny it. I had nothing to say and I was just smiling the whole time we were walking home.
I didn't want to talk about JMark to Sab now so I just kept it to myself for now.

That simple gesture from the child made me happy. My vacation was not so bad after all.

That night was great. I was able to reconcile with my bestfriend and I guess thats something good I can get from this vacation.

I just hope I can talk to him even though I am mad and sort things out before I let go.