Grade A Lovers ( Cleaning )

A Lesson in Desire

Mikaela's POV (First Person)

I've never really thought through a relationship with Yuu. The thought has crossed my mind, however, since we kissed.
But there are stronger feelings behind the kiss that I'm scared to show. Feelings that would drive a man without self control to the brink of pedophilia. Of course, This isn't considered such. Yuu and I are both adults, but having a relationship with a student while they are your student isn't considered okay.
Whatever is going on between Yuu and I, or whatever he or I think is going on, needs
to stop as soon as possible. Before one of us gets hurt.
But neither one of us wants to stop it. At least, it looks that way. Seeing the way Yuu beats himself up, it hurts me. But there isn't anything I can do to solve it.
Of course there have been other thoughts that cross my mind when it comes to Yuuichiro as well. But those thoughts are the type that should not cross my mind, those thoughts are thoughts that stay locked away in your brain until you burst.
The feeling and thought of such desires will be the death of me if they continue like this.

Third Person POV

Mikaela unlocked the front door of his home, pushing the heavy wooded door open. To his surprise, the boy who he had seen locked in his room earlier was sitting on the couch, large emerald eyes staring into his own. The blonde took in a breath.
"Yuu.. you're awake." He muttered, taking off his shouldered bag and setting it on the floor beside the door. Yuu just nodded. It pained Mika in a way, seeing how a small mistake and an even bigger misunderstanding broke this young adult so much. Yuu wasn't who he used to be, the loud and boisterous.. but now he didn't talk. He used to be snarky and he slept in class, and now he always listened. Mika didn't know how much he liked, or disliked the situation.
The blonde sighed. "This has gone on for too long without some kind of explanation." He said, sitting down next to Yuu, who's attention didn't turn away from the television screen. "Talk to me, Yuu.. I want to understand."
Yuu took a soft, shuddery breath. His eyes slowly fell shut, "You won't understand," he breathed.
"I can't understand if you don't tell me."
Yuu looked at him, his eyes hiding the emotion of regret. His emerald green orbs stared at Mika, before he let out a sigh. "It's wrong. I know. Falling in love with your teacher is wrong. But it still happened, Mika.. Everything about this," He motioned to them both, "is wrong!"
Mika sat silently for a minute. "It is."
"Yeah. Do you understand now?"
"I do."
"Good."
"But Yuu.. You and I both know neither of us feel wrong doing what we're doing." Mikaela began.
"That's why it's wrong."
"How can something be wrong if it feels right to both of us, Yuuichiro." He asked. His tone was stern a bit, and Yuu just bit his lip. He scoffed a little and stood up.
"I-I don't know, but I've been thinking about this. Both of us liked what happened yesterday, I wasn't thinking and I kissed you. It should have never happened. But just because it did, doesn't mean we should chase after it. It doesn't mean-" He took a breath, "It doesn't mean that these feelings aren't just desire."
Mika thought for a moment. Yeah, he had desires for people, he was human. But what he felt here.. He didn't think of it as such.
"Desires are strong, Yuu. What was the reason that you kissed me? Because you feel something, or just because you think I'm attractive, or whatever else you wanna think?" Mikaela almost spat. Yuu shook his head.
"Mika.. I don't know. That's what I'm trying to say. I don't know what this is! The only thing I know is that we could both get in a lot of trouble if it continues.."
"You're graduating in three months. You're 18."
"I know, but Mika," He whined a little, "It's not okay.." He looked down. Mika stepped up to Yuu, softly grabbing his chin.
"Do you think it's not okay, or do you feel that it's not okay?" He asked. Yuu didn't speak.
Mika sighed and gazed deeper into Yuu's eyes. "Yuuichiro, answer me." He said.
"Think." The raven muttered.
   Mikaela nodded slowly. He studied Yuu's face for a moment before letting go of his chin and walking into the kitchen. "What do you wanna do for dinner? Order again?" He asked, almost as if their conversation hadn't happened.
   Yuu was confused. What the hell was Mika on about dinner? To Yuu, their conversation wasn't finished. The raven walked over to the counter, a perplexed look on his face.
   "Huh?"
    "You know.. do you want to order pizza?" Mika stated, almost as if Yuu was the most oblivious person on the planet.
   "Don't change the fucking subject."
   "I just was going to or-"
   "Don't change the fucking subject."
   Mika looked at Yuu for a moment before setting his phone down. He let out an agitated and exasperated sigh, slowly walking over to Yuu's side of the counter. "Fine. You wanna know how I feel?" He asked. Yuu nodded.
    "I feel like for the first time since I moved out, someone cares for me. That no matter what I do, It'll be fine. Being in this house with you, even though it's been almost only a week, it's made me a lot happier. But this bullshit that has happened? I get it. I have fucking strong desires, Yuu. But I have to control myself. So do you. You and I both want to do this, you and I both want to make this work, but we both know we can't. We can't even touch it." He grimaced.
   Yuu nodded and brushed his fingertips through his shaggy raven hair. "Then screw it." He said.
    "Now it's my turn to be confused."
    "Then screw the rules. If both of us are happy, then who the hell needs to know? Who needs to have an opinion? We can make it work, Mika!" He said. His eyes seemed to sparkle a little bit. "We can."
     Mika just stood there for a moment.
"What I want... it's too much. I can't ask that of you." He said, shaking his head. "And it's awful that I even think that way."
    Yuu took a step closer to Mika and he grabbed his collar. "I'm a legal adult. I can do whatever the fuck I want." He said. He smirked.
    Everything that had happened then was a blur to both of them. Yuu had held out an open invitation, and Mika snatched it from his hands greedily.
    The older male grabbed Yuu's free wrist and pulled him close to his body. He looked into Yuu's eyes, seeing that they were a bit wide. Mika smiled at him, which seemed to calm him down. That's when Mika knew that this wasn't just another feeling. It was a need.
   Mika then did something he's wanted to do ever since Yuu had kissed him.
    He leaned in and kissed Yuu back.
    
〰➰〰

    Nobody ever told Yuu that Mika was a good kisser. Granted, nobody probably knew. Lips against lips, lips against skin, teeth against skin.. It was all like an artistry. Mika knew what he was doing, Yuu didn't. Each movement was like he calculated it in his head, each move was planned.
    It was almost like a book. The patient reader waits on the author to show them what's coming next. Some times, it's not that much. But others, it opens your eyes to a whole new perspective of the world. Mika was definitely a good teacher.
   Mika had led him somewhere, but he didn't even know where he was going. It was until he felt the cold drywall press against his back that he realized that Mika was pinning him. Yuu reached back and grabbed the back of Mika's shirt.
    Mika pulled back from Yuu's neck and looked over it, then met his eyes. He smiled at the raven, his eyes glowing. Yuu gently smiled back at him, but the flush of his face was overpowering.
   Mika laughed a bit, "You're so shy. Easily embarrassed." His breath trickled over the saliva he left on Yuu's neck. He was a little confused at how Mika said that, but he ignored it. He felt a soft snicker come from his mouth, "You wish."
   "You think you're hot shit," Mika laughed, running a finger down Yuu's neck. Yuu stared into Mika's eyes, his chest pumping a bit. "Time to meet your match." He smirked.