20 days to heaven » Namjin

II

He tried to think clearly but his head, his mind was to slow. Everything felt like the world just stopped. Seokjins best friend, Seokjins everything was going to die. Sure, everybody has to die and that's a natural process but Jin didn't want his younger friend to. He didn't want Namjoon to leave him. He didn't want to lose the only one who truly understood him, he just couldn't. Then a lot of questions scream in Sekjins head. Why didn't Namjoon tell him already? Did he think the older wouldn't care? Was Seokjin not important enough? Or didn't he want his friend to get hurt? Seokjin truly didn't understand anything. He felt lost. Did Namjoon feel the same? A single tear rolled down Seokjins cheek and dripped on the paper, leaving a dark mark where it touched the horrible message. His heart ached and a soft sob left his lips. He didn't want this to be real, he didn't want this to happen. Not to Namjoon who truly didn't deserve this. He felt dizzy and more tears made their way out of Seokjins beautiful eyes. He sank down onto his knees and felt his skin fidget when it touched the ground. His head felt like it would explode and something in his mind whispered to him in a low voice. The waiter shook his head, holt his temples and screamed.

Right in that moment Namjoon stepped in and it felt like he scared away the pain. Seokjin mumbled a broken 'why?', his cheeks red and puffy, the paper ripped on the ground. Namjoon didn't answer. He just stood there and looked at his friend. He looked sad, but no tear left his dark orbs. His expression was like a rock. It was there, but nothing happened. "I'm sorry.", he finally said and gulped nervous. He looked down at his socks. He wore a black one and a green with grey stripes. This time Seokjin didn't answer. He just nodded and got up. His feet carried him to the kitchen where he just leaned against the cupboard, staring at the white wall in front of his eyes. "Seokjin?" Namjoons voice sounded thin and ... just not like himself. The older tourned around, ripped out of his thoughts. Namjoon stood there, his bright hair falling down on his now pale skin. Seokjin looked at his friend who decided on hugging his flatmate. The smaller of them just enjoyed Namjoons arms around his upper body. It felt like he would never leave. Another tear freed itself and dropped down onto Namjoons bright yellow hoodie. No mark was left there, like nothing happened.

Seokjin cooked in silence. He just had to realise and understand everything. He still couldn't think about how it would be without his best friend. He already felt alone. Namjoon decided to help his little princess, he always called Seokjin that, a little and laid the table. He didn't eat anything again and just watched his admirable flatmate releasing stress and sadness with food. "Let's run away." Namjoon didn't really understand what Seokjin said since he talked with a mouth full of food. "I'll spend your last days with you. What did you want to do once in your life?", the older asked. Namjoon looked down onto the black wood of the table and thought about Seokjins question. What did he want? Nothing mainstream like skydiving, of course not. That was nothing Namjoon wanted to do, it even seemed boring to him. What was a big wish of his?

"I want to sit on a rooftop, Hyung.", he said. It seemed magical to him and a weak smile decorated his face. Seokjin chuckled, Namjoon was truly someone weird. He still loved the idea. But that was a rhing for an evening, not for a whole day. "Let's learn how to beatbox before. I think that's pretty cool, I always wanted to know how it works.", Namjoon suggested with a dreamy expression. "Whatever you want, Joon.", Jin answered and finished his meal. "I want to make a photo wall with you, because you're my best friend. I want you to remember me, Jinnie. Oh, how about swimming with dolphins? I would love to do this. Let's have a party for us only. What about visiting my mom? I want to see her a last time, you know..." And so Namjoons ideas got on. He talked for ten minutes straight ans Seokjin already started to plan everythin in his head. He wanted Namjoon to die in peace, to know that he had done things he really wanted to do.