zodiac signs

The signs as cats

~ HIYAAAAA it's officially my birthday so I found a really special zodiac thingy for y'all

Aries: the outdoor cat who goes to the neighbors house to taunt the indoor cat who lives there

Taurus: the grumpy old cat who used to be cool and now just wants to be fed on time and the sun to stay in one goddamn place while he naps

Gemini: you know how all cats have a reputation for biting the shit outta someone when you go to pet their belly? gemini cat is why...

Cancer: the kitten that fought and played with all the other kittens and got beaten every single time so is now sitting beside mom cat crying and begging for attention

Leo: actually a dog but grew up around cats so just assums cat mannerisms

Virgo: the show cat, gets their fur trimmed and blown every week, doesn't play well with other cats becaus they are a Star™ (still eats their own vomit though)

Libra: sits on a table. Purrs at you. Very slowly pushes off whatever it is that you're drinking. You yell. purring stops. there is a phantom smile on their face as they do it again. repeat infinitively.

Scorpio: if you ever hear a cat making ungodly cat noises in the wee hours of the night, it's a scorpio cat and it is entirely intentional. fuck you scorpio cat, you're causing caffeine addiction.

Sagittarius: similar to a scorpio cat but this cat is your cat and they do they don't yell ooooooohhhhh nooooo. they run across the house very loudly when you're getting ready for bed only to stop in your room and stare you down then run the other way. the next morning you realize they somehow stole all your underwear.

Capricorn: the exhausted parent cat trying to keep a lid on the squirming mass of kittens that seem to erupt from everywhere. grumpy, but trying their best to keep the wave of fur from attacking anyone.

Aquarius: a rescue cat that's both scared of everything and fearless, no one knows how old it is since it's full of energy.

Pisces: the owner, still watches cat videos even if they have a cat sitting in front of them.