Excerpts From the Unfinished

Night-Time Conversation

I had this conversation many times in my life. I've had it with friends, family, strangers... just anyone and everyone who would listen. But out of all the times I spoke those same words... it never felt like when I told him. The talk about being suicidal and depressed. It was something I had to tell anyone I got close to. I couldn't let them think of me as this high and mighty person. Why not? Because I loved to bring myself down and make myself seem like a total piece of shit. Yet, he didn't let me think of it that way. Multiple comments were made about how I shouldn't let anyone tell me I wasn't special and that I wasn't worth it. This was the first time anyone had said anything like that to me during this conversation. He actually wanted to know all about it. He actually was concerned and wanted to listen to my mindless ranting, even saying that he would listen especially if it would help me at all. I wasn't sure why this was happening. It was after he was told about the massive crush I had on him. Maybe he thought it was fake? Or maybe he... felt the same? No, that's crazy. Whatever it was... I felt so cared for in those moments. I wanted to grasp onto this feeling and remember it forever. I wanted to remember the way he made me feel that night.