Innocence (MelloxNear) (Death Note)

Chapter 9 | Enjoying The Pain

You ached for things, you don't understand. 

-

Fingers rapidly tapping the controllers buttons as he stared intently at the vibrantly coloured screen, Matt didn't even blink as he controlled his on screen character. Having just finished Skyward Sword, he had convinced Watari to buy him the new Kingdom Hearts game, at the cost of doing the dishes for the entire week. A fair deal, if Matt did say so himself. But still, as he guided Sora through his brand new world, he couldn't help but feel a slight tugging at his heart everytime he remembered he was alone.

He continuously looked back, expecting to see Mello beside him, locked onto the screen as he slowly nibbled a chocolate bar, just like a hamster. But a sinking feeling hit his gut when he was only greeted by an empty spot on the carpet. There was no constant nagging to do a certain combo, nor what there that sweet rythym of breathing. It was just Matt playing a video game by himself. And even when he defeated a boss, he felt unacomplished.

And all cause of that stupid little shit Near. Ever since he had upped and left, Mello had been in a state of depression. Matt noticed a change in his chocolate habit too. In fact, he hadn't seen the blonde eat in the week since the albino had left to Majora knows where. It was still a mystery to everyone in Wammy's, and that was brand new. Usually, someone would worm some information out of someone in charge, or sneak into the computer system and find out some information, but nothing. It seemed like a hopeless quest to figure out where the whitette had dissapeared to.

 "I don't see what Melly sees in him..." Matt mumbled to himself as he tore himself away from his screen, pausing the game and leaning on the palms of his hands, which burried themselves in the deep orange carpet. Sighing with exasperation, Matt tugged the band of his goggles, which was perched upon his mass of crimson hair, as though it would help him come up with an answer faster. But nothing. There was nothing to see in Near. Yet somehow he had managed to take Matt's best friend and long time crush away from him without even trying. 

"Fucking asshole, I'm the one Melly should be with..." He murmered, before pushing himself to his feet, dragging down his signiture figure hugging striped shirt, so it covered his abdomen again and wasn't revealing any flesh. He quickly double checked any rising material, seeing if any of the tinging scars were on show. Mello knew his secret, but he didn't need anyone else intruding on what he did to himself. That was his choice... Not Watari's, not anybody's. His body, his rules.

In Wammy's, there was a strict ban on cigarrettes, not like anyone but Matt would try them. They were too scared of the things, being the goody-two-shoes that they were. But the redhead couldn't care less about the rules; as shown when he pulled a packet of Lambert And Butler from his denim jean pocket, taking out one of the scarce remaining few. Every fortnight, the Wammy kids were allowed out into the town. That was the only time Matt could use his 'aquired' allowance and raid the shops of their cigars. L&B wasn't the best, but it was cheap enough, because even stolen money has it's limits.

But with something good, something else has to be sacrificed. There was literally nowhere to stub out the nub of a fag, and Matt had already realized that if he crushed it outside or tossed it in the trash, there was bound to be a snitch that ratted him out. It didn't matter how many times he had to warn the dweebs that "Snitches get stitches.", they would always see the ash and point fingers to him. And the punishments were not what he wanted. Last time he was told off, he had been left bored shitless for an entire month as his gaming equiptment had been replaced with actual study books.

Worst month of his entire life.

So, he had to improvise. The only place he could unlight the bastards was on himself (Their rooms were inspected once a few days, but they themselves were never searched.), before he discarded of them in the trash, now that the pungent odour was on himself, rather than the actual thing. Obviously, it was excruciatingly painful, but for some twisted reason, he seemed to like it. The tingling feeling after the burning sensation, it gave him chills. The shocking first few moments his body registered the heat on his skin, made him flinch, but not just in discomfort, but in a weird kind of pleasure. Like his body wanted to be harmed...