It had to be me [Thiam]

Heart to heart

I'm beaten up because I'm gay? The story Liam's sister heard might not have been the exact story, but it's true. After all it was a personal attack. I look at Liam, who's still sitting next to me on the bench, clenching his fists. I look at his hands, he puts his nails in his handpalms with so much force they've started to bleed. I wake op from my thoughts and grab one of his hands 'Liam, don't!' He looks at me, confused. I fold his hand open and see four little cuts in his palm. He relaxes his other hand too. I keep his other hand in my left hand and look into his eyes. 'You realise this all is not your fault, don't you?' He stares at me. 'Of course it is!', he pulls his hand back and pushes my hand away. I stand up, frustrated. 'How is that your fault? You're not the one that hurt me! You're the one that heard me scream, that came back and that saved my freaking ass!', I turn around, back to Liam, he stands up too. 'I should never have fallen in love with you in the first place, then all of this would never have happened!', he shouts. 'You're blaming yourself for falling in love with your friend?!', I scream back at him. 'Yes! It's stupid and it's gross!' 'Well guess what?', I walk several steps away from him and turn back around to face him. 'That means I'm stupid and gross too!' Liam's silent for a moment before he opens his mouth again. 'What does that even mean?!', he screams while throwing his hands in the air. In the meantime we've probably pissed everyone that's even remotely close too us off. I don't really care though. 'Because I love you too, you idiot!', I scream back at him. It's like there's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Have I really just said that? Liam doesn't scream something back at me. He's just quiet. After a while he says 'Oh..', and again we're both quiet for some time. Suddenly Liam starts to giggle a little, I look over to him and can't help but smile. 'I know this isn't funny at all,' Liam walks over to me, 'and I probably shouldn't be, but I'm just so happy right now', he looks at me. 'Theo Raeken.. Loves me?', he starts to grin again. 'Yeah, he does..', I reply, a little confused. He stands still in front of me. 'And you're not lying to make me feel better?', he asks. 'I am most certainly not lying.' He's standing right in front of me, our faces only centimeters away from each other. 'We're idiots', Liam says. After that he wraps both of his arms around me and lies his head on my shoulder, agains my neck. I wrap my left arm around him and we just stand there. Hugging. I don't even know how long. It could have been several seconds, but it also could have been several minutes, an hour even. It felt like eternity. I feel his heart beating like a maniac. He slowly removes his arms and before he totally lets go, he gives me a fast kiss on my cheeck which makes me blush like an idiot. We both look at each other, a little awkward, but not in a bad way. He smiles and looks at the ground. 'I should give you a ride home before your mom starts to wonder where you are..'

We're almost there. We've been talking the whole way to my house: Liam still blaming himself for the beating. He's so sure that his sister is behind it all, but it's all still uncertain. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. I've tried to convince Liam it's not his fault and I think he's starting to believe me a little bit, but it's still hard for him. But the more important thing is: we like each other; we love each other! We've promised to talk about it more tomorrow, when we're both a little more used to the idea. It's weird and I constantly feel like it's all just a dream. When I told him that, he said he had the same feeling. Liam parks the car next to my house, steps out and opens the door of the car for me. 'Such a gentleman', I grin. 'So.. See you tomorrow I guess?', Liam says while walking back to the driver's side of the car. 'Yeah, that's for sure', I smile. 'Don't you dare suddenly change your mind about me', he says before getting into the car. 'Believe me, I won't', I reply while walking to the front door. I knock at the door while looking over my shoulder to see Liam dissapear in the distance. The door opens and I see Joey standing in front of me. 'Hey there little one.'