It had to be me [Thiam]

I missed this

Forget what I said before. Seriously. I do not miss school anymore at all. I simply confused it with missing my friend, that's all. Even though I'm not really sure whether I look forward to talking to all of them at lunch. Scott and I are good again, luckily. He's joking around like he always does and it looks like he forgave me for not sending him any messages or updates. Good. Maybe it's partly because I look kinda pathetic that people forgive me sooner. I can really use that right now, so I won't complain.

Scott helps me packing my bag. It's sweet and I know I kinda need the help, but I'm also starting to feel like a complete sissy. And I don't like that feeling at all. Scott hands me my bag 'There you go, dickhead', he says. That's just the kind of friendship we have. We always insult each other, but we came tp a point that it's just a normal thing. It would be weird it we said something nice to eachother. It's not like we don't like each other: we do. We'll stick up for eachother, of course we will. We just love to call each other names. I walk over to the canteen while getting several billion looks. That's a bit extreme, but it sure feels like everyone is watching me, every single step. Scott looks at me and punches me, 'Hey, don't let them bother you!', he smiles. I can already see our group sitting at one of the tables. Damn, I missed them so much. It feels like I haven't seen them in ages, while it was just a little over a week ago and I've obviously only missed Liam for an hour or so.

I sit down next to Liam. It wasn't on purpose, I swear. I just sat down before I know it. Mason and Corey look at each other for a second and then at us and back to each other again. Can we please pretend I didn't choose the one seat next to Liam. Please. Scott sits down next to Malia on the other side of the table and puts one arm around her. Malia looks over to me. 'Theo, are you okay?' I smile slightly. Malia is like the mother of the group. She's a badass, don't get me wrong. But she's the caring figure in our group. It's cute. I nod and look over to Liam, who's trying to eat his sandwhich sort of gracefully. Failing, of course. Salad is falling out of it and a small piece of tomato falls down on his lap. He groans 'Really?' Malia is still looking at me, slightly worried. Somehow it's not annoying. I look over to Mason, who is trying to make something clear to me with weird gestures. I don't really have to pay attention to them to know what he's trying to express. First he looks at me, then he makes several eye movements in the direction of Liam and after that he dramatically kisses the air. Fuck you, Mason. Corey sees what Mason is doing and laughs. He points at me, then at Liam and makes a heart shape with his fingers. Fuck you too, Corey. In fact, fuck each other. Now that I think about it, they probably already do. Wait, no, I don't want to think about that. I will never get that picture out of my head. I look pissed at the both of them and shake my head, trying to make them stop before Liam sees it. They both start laughing and shrug. Liam is still busy trying to save his pants from the tomato. Malia apparently stopped worrying about me for a bit, because she's dramatically kissing Scott. Corey walks over to the spot that's still empty next to me and sits down. 'I'm sure you've heard everyone say it, but we really missed you. We were really worried', he puts an arm on my left shoulder and tries to look me in the eyes, afraid I won't believe him if I don't look at him. Corey is like a puppy. Annoying, extremely stubborn, but he means well and you just can't stay mad at him for longer than several minutes. I smile again. 'Thank you, I really missed you all too and I'm really sorry for not letting you all know anything sooner.' Corey points at my plaster 'Can I draw or write something on it maybe?' Like I said. A cute puppy. 'I'd love that.' While Corey is searching for a pen or pencil, I try to hear what Mason is saying to Liam. I expected him to say something about me, but instead they're discussing how they can wash out the stain. I'm so narcissistic sometimes.

We've to go back to class far too soon. I could talk to them all day, about anything really. I wanted to talk to Mason too, actually. But like I said, we didn't have the time anymore. Mason is amazing. They all are, I know. I have probably said that far too often by now, but Mason is amazing in his own special way. He's annoying, for sure. But he's also a really great friend. He's always in for a laugh and always sees right through you. He's a funny guy, he is, but he can also be serious. He's one of those friends that you can call at 2 am and will be at your doorstep at 2:10 am and not even ask questions. I did not see forward to french at all. It's not my favorite subject to put it lightly. I've had these classes for four years now or something and all I can in french is introducing myself and tell  what age I am. I wish I was exaggerating. To make things even worse, none of my friends have french. I'm the only one taking these classes, so I'm forced to sit next to someone I'm not really friends with. 'I'm Lydia Martin. I can sit wherever I want to sit and I just decided that's next to you.' That was literally the first sentence she's ever said to me. We're not friends. For the first time today, I'm the first one to enter the classroom, Lydia's not yet there. I sit down and get my books out, this time without anyone's help. I'll have to learn it anyway. When I have taken all my books out, I can see the strawberry blonde girl out of the corner of my eye, entering the classroom. Great. She sits down next to me and looks at my arm, not even trying to hide the fact that she's staring at me. 'Hey there Theo. I missed you this week, I had to sit alone. I don't like sitting alone,' She takes her diary out of her bag and starts to doodle in it. At least she's straight to the point. I sight and try to find any motivation to pay attention to my teacher who just started rattling something in French. Pretty sure it was something about french literature, but it could also have been about french food. I don't know. Lydia looks up from her diary and starts to take notes. I try to read them, hoping they would be in English so this class would make a little more sense, but sadly Lydia's notes make even less sense than my teacher. Also I'm pretty sure that my teacher didn't say anything she wrote down: chère Allison, tu me manques. Je suis seule dans l'école et tu es la seule personne qui est importante à moi, mais tu n'est pas ici..
When Lydia sees I'm trying to read it, she quickly covers it with her arm and looks angrily at me. Sorry.