Give me a reason (a sherlock fanfiction)

Give me a reason

(A/n- any thing in the brackets that doesn't say a/n is being written in johns journal. I would also like to say I don't own bbc sherlock in any way, this is just a fan fiction I have wanted to right for a while. This will be one of few authors notes so sorry for the inconvenience)

John

(Cold. Bitter. Lonely.

This is how my life has been without him. My therapist told me I need to get my feelings out some how so this is it. I can't stand to look at the blog so journal it is.

"Goodbye John". Those are the last words he spoke. I never got a chance to say it back. There are so many things I wish I could have said. I probably could have said them too if it weren't for that bloody biker.

I knew he wasn't a fake. Sometimes he wasn't human, but he wasn't a monster. He wouldn't kill people just to make him self look good. The only things he hurt happened to be part of an experiment and were already dead.

This is all Moriarty's fault. I swear, if he didn't blow his brains out, I would have done it for him. I would hunt him down and would squeeze the life out of him.)

"Oh god listen to me! I'm turning into a bloody psychopath!"

Sherlock did tend to have that effect on people. Getting them hooked and then "poof" he's gone.

I just realized Molly is handling this surprisingly well. Mrs Hudson refuses to eat, Lestrade started smoking again and got fired since he allowed sherlock on the scenes. And well, I'm not even living, I'm just alive. But Molly, she hasn't had a single problem. Something's up.

"Mrs Hudson, I'm going out!"